By:

Rahul Kulkarni

30 March 2025 at 3:32:54 pm

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request. “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly: “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.” He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule. By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop: Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is...

min read

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request. “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly: “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.” He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule. By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop: Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is allowed… but not really. This is boundary collapse… when a leader’s good intentions unintentionally blur the limits that protect autonomy and rest. When care quietly turns into control Founders rarely intend to micromanage. What looks like control from the outside often starts as care from the inside. “Let me help before something breaks.” “Let me stay involved so we don’t lose time.” “Loop me in… I don’t want you stressed.” Supportive tone. Good intentions. But one invisible truth defines workplace psychology: When power says “optional,” it never feels optional.
So when a client requested a revision, Rohit gently pinged: “If you’re free, could you take a look?” Of course she logged in. Of course she handled it. And by Monday, the cultural shift was complete: Leave = location change, not a boundary. A founder’s instinct had quietly become a system. Pattern 1: The Generous Micromanager Modern micromanagement rarely looks aggressive. It looks thoughtful : “Let me refine this so you’re not stuck.” “I’ll review it quickly.” “Share drafts so we stay aligned.” Leaders believe they’re being helpful. Teams hear: “You don’t fully trust me.” “I should check with you before finishing anything.” “My decisions aren’t final.” Gentle micromanagement shrinks ownership faster than harsh micromanagement ever did because people can’t challenge kindness. Pattern 2: Cultural conditioning around availability In many Indian workplaces, “time off” has an unspoken footnote: Be reachable. Just in case. No one says it directly. No one pushes back openly. The expectation survives through habit: Leave… but monitor messages. Rest… but don’t disconnect. Recover… but stay alert. Contrast this with a global team we worked with: A designer wrote, “I’ll be off Friday, but available if needed.” Her manager replied: “If you’re working on your off-day, we mismanaged the workload… not the boundary.” One conversation. Two cultural philosophies. Two completely different emotional outcomes. Pattern 3: The override reflex Every founder has a version of this reflex. Whenever Rohit sensed risk, real or imagined, he stepped in: Rewriting copy. Adjusting a design. Rescoping a task. Reframing an email. Always fast. Always polite. Always “just helping.” But each override delivered one message: “Your autonomy is conditional.” You own decisions… until the founder feels uneasy. You take initiative… until instinct replaces delegation. No confrontation. No drama. Just quiet erosion of confidence. The family-business amplification Boundary collapse becomes extreme in family-managed companies. We worked with one firm where four family members… founder, spouse, father, cousin… all had informal authority. Everyone cared. Everyone meant well. But for employees, decision-making became a maze: Strategy approved by the founder. Aesthetics by the spouse. Finance by the father. Tone by the cousin. They didn’t need leadership. They needed clarity. Good intentions without boundaries create internal anarchy. The global contrast A European product team offered a striking counterexample. There, the founder rarely intervened mid-stream… not because of distance, but because of design: “If you own the decision, you own the consequences.” Decision rights were clear. Escalation paths were explicit. Authority didn’t shift with mood or urgency. No late-night edits. No surprise rewrites. No “quick checks.” No emotional overrides. As one designer put it: “If my boss wants to intervene, he has to call a decision review. That friction protects my autonomy.” The result: Faster execution, higher ownership and zero emotional whiplash. Boundaries weren’t personal. They were structural . That difference changes everything. Why boundary collapse is so costly Its damage is not dramatic. It’s cumulative. People stop resting → you get presence, not energy. People stop taking initiative → decisions freeze. People stop trusting empowerment → autonomy becomes theatre. People start anticipating the boss → performance becomes emotional labour. People burn out silently → not from work, but from vigilance. Boundary collapse doesn’t create chaos. It creates hyper-alertness, the heaviest tax on any team. The real paradox Leaders think they’re being supportive. Teams experience supervision. Leaders assume boundaries are obvious. Teams see boundaries as fluid. Leaders think autonomy is granted. Teams act as though autonomy can be revoked at any moment. This is the Boundary Collapse → a misunderstanding born not from intent, but from the invisible weight of power. Micromanagement today rarely looks like anger. More often, it looks like kindness without limits. (Rahul Kulkarni is Co-founder at PPS Consulting. He patterns the human mechanics of scaling where workplace behavior quietly shapes business outcomes. Views personal.)

From Busy to Owned: Build the Middle

Rashmi Kulkarni
Aug 24
3 min read

Slug – Business Sense

Last week we explored why growth starts to lurch when every decision still circles the founder. This week is the fix. Make the middle visible so work moves without you.

Monday, 11:10 am.

Sales is celebrating a PO (Purchase Order). Ops is juggling dispatch. Finance is nudging a payment. Three different teams, same pause:

“Who signs off?”

“Ship now or wait?”

“Loop you in, sir/ma’am?”

It’s not speed that’s missing. It’s ownership you can see.

What “the middle” actually means

Not more managers. Not longer meetings. It’s a simple leadership system that tells everyone who decides, when, and where exceptions go:

Role Charters (one page, per manager)

Scope, decisions owned end-to-end, what “good” looks like, and red-line escalations. Short, public, living … so people don’t need to “just check” on WhatsApp.

Decision Ladder (green / amber / red)

Green: Decide & inform.

Amber: Decide with consult (time-boxed).

Red: Escalate with context (into fixed slots).

Post one Ladder per core flow … sales, delivery, support, finance … so polite waiting doesn’t replace action.

Escalation Windows (twice a week, fixed)

Example: Tue & Thu, 11:30–12:00. Stuck work lands here inside the system, not at midnight. Predictable beats urgent.

Published Rhythm (the operating diary)

A weekly review with a standing agenda: WIP lanes, owner tags, next decisions, risks. Visibility replaces supervision; founders can be strategically unavailable.

If that felt abstract, here’s the home-version you’ll recognise.

The Society WhatsApp Test (real version)

9:12 p.m.: “Paani kam aaya.” (Lesser water supply)

By 9:14: 47 messages, one “Good morning” sticker, and three people tagging the secretary. The watchman is now answering calls and switching the motor like a DJ.

Classic no middle.

Now add a small, desi middle: the Water Subcommittee Head plus the watchmen. They ration first, tanker last. A simple playbook: stop–start timings agreed, a ready message (“Supply stop 6–8 am. Conserve water. Update at 8:15.”), and a rule that the Head decides rationing; only if two cycles fail, the treasurer is pinged to price a tanker; the secretary enters only if both steps don’t hold.

Result? Fewer pings, fewer heroics, and full buckets by breakfast. The group goes back to birthday photos. Work didn’t get lighter … ownership got visible.

In teams, the same logic turns polite waiting into steady motion.

How the shift becomes visible

Instead of a before/after story, here are signals you’ll notice in 10 days when the middle is working:

Fewer “Can you just see this once?” pings.
Standups end with named owners and time-boxed decisions … not updates.
Amber items stop floating; they’re decided within the window.
Red items wait for the slot unless truly urgent (and urgent is now rare).
People start saying, “I own it,” without adding, “unless you want to review.”

No fanfare. Just steadier motion.

How to install it (Indian SME reality)

Day 1–2: Pick one friction lane (onboarding, change requests, month-end collections).

Day 3–4: Draft two Role Charters for your natural “catchers.” One page. Read them aloud in the team meet.

Day 5–6: Mark 10 typical decisions as Green/Amber/Red. Time-box amber consults (e.g., 24 hours).

Day 7: Announce two Escalation Windows on the shared calendar. If it’s not red, it waits.

Day 8–10: Run the rhythm. Daily WIP = owner tags + next decisions; weekly ops = risks + handoffs. Founder attends only if a red-line is hit.

Track two simple numbers before/after: after-hours messages and cycle time. If both drop, the middle is taking hold.

When it wobbles (and it will)

Charter drift: If managers still seek blessings, your red lines are too generous; tighten the Ladder.
Window spillover: If escalations leak to DMs, add a third temporary slot and sort by type.
Review theatre: If meetings become status shows, cut to four beats: WIP, owners, decisions due, risks.

Rashmi’s note

Headcount adds capacity. The middle adds speed. It’s not culture decks or tool rollouts. It’s the quiet confidence that comes when “who decides” is public … and exceptions have a place to go. That’s when teams stop waiting for the founder and start moving on time.

Next week, Rahul explores restraint: why presence can quietly slow execution unless exits from loops are designed in.

(Rashmi Kulkarni is Co-founder at PPS Consulting. She works with growth-stage teams to install operating rhythm and clear decision rights so work moves without supervision. Views are personal. Write to rashmi@ppsconsulting.biz or connect on LinkedIn.)

1 Comment

rahul

Sep 11

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