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By:

Asha Tripathi

14 April 2025 at 1:35:28 pm

Stop Comparing, Start Growing

Success does not grow in comparison; it grows in focus. Over the years, women have made significant strides in every sphere of life. From managing homes to leading organisations, from nurturing families to building successful careers, women have proved that strength and resilience are deeply rooted in their nature. Financial independence has become a significant milestone for many women today, bringing with it confidence, dignity, and the freedom to shape one’s own destiny. However, along...

Stop Comparing, Start Growing

Success does not grow in comparison; it grows in focus. Over the years, women have made significant strides in every sphere of life. From managing homes to leading organisations, from nurturing families to building successful careers, women have proved that strength and resilience are deeply rooted in their nature. Financial independence has become a significant milestone for many women today, bringing with it confidence, dignity, and the freedom to shape one’s own destiny. However, along with growth has come another silent challenge — the tendency to constantly observe, compare, and sometimes even compete with the journeys of others. But a crucial question arises: Is it necessary to track the growth of others in order to grow ourselves? From my personal experience of more than two decades as an entrepreneur, I have realised something very powerful — true growth begins the moment we stop looking sideways and start looking within. A Small Beginning I had a flourishing career of teaching abroad, but when I restarted my career after moving back to India, my beginning was extremely small. My very first assignment was a simple home tuition for a single student, and the amount I earned was meagre. There was nothing glamorous about it. No recognition, no large batches, no big earnings. Just one student and one opportunity. But instead of worrying about how others were doing, how many students they had, or how much they were earning, I made a conscious decision—my only focus would be on improving myself. I focused on teaching better, preparing better, and becoming more disciplined and consistent. And slowly, without even realising it, things began to grow. One student became two, two became a small group, and gradually, over the years, the work expanded beyond what I had initially imagined. Looking back today, I can confidently say that the growth did not happen because I competed with others. It happened because I competed with myself yesterday. Comparison Creates Noise When we keep watching others' journeys too closely, we unknowingly divert our own energy. Comparison creates unnecessary noise in our minds. It brings doubts, insecurities, and sometimes even negativity. Instead of walking our own path with clarity, we start questioning our speed, our direction, and our worth. True success grows through focus, not comparison. Every woman has her own story, her own pace, and her own struggles that others may never see. The path of one person can never be identical to another's. So comparing journeys is like comparing two different rivers flowing towards the same ocean — each with its own route, its own curves, and its own rhythm. As women, we already carry many responsibilities. We balance emotions, relationships, work, and society's expectations. In such a life, the last thing we need is the burden of comparison with one another. Instead, what we truly need is support for each other. When women encourage women, something extraordinary happens. Confidence grows. Opportunities multiply. Strength becomes collective rather than individual. There is enough space in the world for every woman to create her own identity. Each of us can build our own niche without stepping on someone else's path. Choose Encouragement Envy weakens us, but encouragement empowers us. Rather than questioning how someone else is progressing, we can ask a more meaningful question: "How can I grow a little better than I was yesterday?" Lift As You Rise Today, after twenty years of experience, the most valuable lesson I have learned is simple yet profound — focus on your own work with honesty and dedication, and success will quietly follow you. We, women, are capable, resilient, and creative. We do not need to pull each other down or compete in unhealthy ways. Instead, we can lift each other up while building our own dreams. Because when one woman rises, she does not rise alone. She inspires many others to believe that they can rise, too. And perhaps that is the most beautiful form of success. (The writer is a tutor based in Thane. Views personal.)

A Press Meet without Women

When India bends to Taliban diktats, it betrays not just its journalists, but its own Constitution.

A press conference addressed by Afghan Foreign Minister Amir Khan Muttaqi recently saw participation restricted to a handful of reporters while women journalists were conspicuous by their absence. The Taliban foreign minister was in India on his first official visit, from October 9 to 16 where he attended a press meet presided over by External Affairs Minister S. Jaishankar before visiting seminaries in Agra and Deoband.


Muttaqi is not to be blamed because he was an invited guest on a diplomatic mission. But how on earth did our government, the host allow itself to listen to the dictate to keep out women journalists at the press conference? When the outburst among women journalists following the press meet was made public, Muttaqi immediately invited the women press persons to attend another hurriedly organized press conference to mend matters. But will it? Why was this restriction permitted in the first place? Are they afraid of the power of women? Do they think women do not count?


But lo and behold! On Monday morning (October 13), the newspapers announced another press conference including women which, however, was the direct and immediate reaction to the huge uproar by women journalists first in Delhi and then across India. One newspaper went on to state that the UN has referred to the situation in Afghanistan as “gender apartheid” where women and girls are not allowed to attend secondary school or university, visit parks or gyms. The jobs they are allowed to do are increasingly restricted and the Taliban government enforces head-to-toe coverings and restricts their travel.


Article 14 of the Indian Constitution states that all persons, male and female, are equal before the law and shall get equal protection before the law. Article 15 states that there shall be no discrimination against any person on grounds of sex. Article 16 guarantees equality of opportunity in matters of public employment irrespective of sex. But the reality shows that all these constitutional rights exist more so in theory than in practice. The Hindu Code, passed as separate Acts between 1950 and 1955, rewrote for Hindus the laws of marriage, divorce and adoption. Adult suffrage added women to electoral roles, and political parties pledged their commitment to women’s issues. The Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act enacted in 1971 sought to legalise abortions provided they are carried out under conditions specified in the MTP Act. But illegal abortions have not stopped at all because of unmarried pregnancies and the fear of social stigma they carry.


Gender Equality

The principle of gender equality is enshrined in the Indian Constitution in its Preamble, Fundamental Rights, Fundamental Duties and Directive Principles. The Constitution not only grants equality to women, but also empowers the State to adopt measures of positive discrimination in favour of women. Within the framework of a democratic polity, our laws, development policies, plans and programmes have aimed at women’s advancement in different spheres. From the Fifth Five Year Plan (1974–78) onwards, there has been a marked shift in the approach to women’s issues from welfare to development. In recent years, the empowerment of women has been recognised as the central issue in determining the status of women. The National Commission for Women was set up by an Act of Parliament (1990) to safeguard the rights and legal entitlements of women. The 73rd and 74th Amendments (1993) to the Constitution of India have provided for reservation of seats in the local bodies of the Panchayats and Municipalities for women, laying a strong foundation for their participation in decision making at local levels.


India has also ratified various international conventions and human rights instruments committing to secure equal rights of women. Key among them is the ratification of the Convention on Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) in 1993. The women’s movement and a wide-spread network of non-governmental organisations that have strong grass-roots presence and offer deep insight into women’s concerns have contributed in inspiring initiatives for the empowerment of women.


Wide gap

However, there still exists a wide gap between the goals enunciated in the Constitution, legislation, policies, plans, programmes and related mechanisms on the one hand and the situational reality of the status of women in India on the other. This has been analysed extensively in the Report on the Committee on the Status of Women in India, Towards Equality (1974) and highlighted in the National Perspective Plan for Women 1988–2000, the Shramshakti Report 1988 and the ‘Platform of Action, Five Years After – An Assessment’.


The underlying causes of gender inequality are related to social and economic structures that are based on informal and formal norms and practices. Consequently, the access of women, particularly those belonging to weaker sections including Scheduled Castes, Scheduled Tribes, Other Backward Classes and minorities, majority of whom are in the rural areas and in the informal, unorganised sector – to education, health and productive resources, among others, is inadequate. They remain largely marginalized and socially excluded.


According to a report by Geeta Pandey on BBC News, “The Taliban government, which retook power in 2021, has previously said it respects women’s rights in accordance with their interpretation of Afghan culture and Islamic law, but Western diplomats have said their attempts to gain recognition have been hampered by the curbs on women. The suppression of women’s rights under their rule is the harshest in the world.”


What about the leading party of our own country? Are they afraid of women? Who delivered them, then? The Mother of Immaculate Conception? The other day, I heard someone say that ‘Maa’ is the smallest word in any language but the most powerful one that can be imagined. And let’s be clear: only women can be mothers or choose not to be. The choice is theirs alone.


(The author is a noted film scholar who writes extensively on gender issues. She is a double-winner for the National Award for Best Writing on Cinema. Views personal.)

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