top of page

By:

Asha Tripathi

14 April 2025 at 1:35:28 pm

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a...

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a choice to treat another person with dignity, kindness, and honesty. True love is built on mutual respect, trust and emotional security. It involves respecting each other's feelings, boundaries and individuality, caring for one another through both joyful and difficult times, and building trust through consistent actions rather than empty promises. It is marked by honest communication instead of manipulation or mind games; accepting each other's imperfections while encouraging personal growth; and creating a relationship in which both partners feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgement or rejection. Love is not about controlling someone. It is about helping each other feel valued and secure. Toxic Love Relationships become toxic when fear, insecurity, selfishness or a desire for control replace mutual respect and care. One common cause is unresolved emotional wounds. People who have experienced betrayal, neglect or unhealthy relationships may carry those experiences into new relationships, making them suspicious, controlling or emotionally distant. Unrealistic expectations can also create problems. Films and social media often portray love as a constant state of excitement, whereas real relationships involve routine, disagreements, responsibilities and compromise. When expectations do not match reality, disappointment often follows. Poor communication is another major factor. Instead of discussing problems openly, some people avoid difficult conversations, withdraw emotionally, criticise or manipulate their partners, allowing misunderstandings to deepen. Experts also point to the role of ego. When individuals become more concerned with proving themselves right than understanding their partner's perspective, conflicts become harder to resolve and empathy gives way to confrontation. Fear of abandonment can fuel unhealthy behaviour. Anxiety about losing a partner may manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, constant monitoring or emotional dependence, behaviours that often place further strain on the relationship. A lack of accountability can also damage relationships. Healthy partners acknowledge their mistakes and work to improve, while toxic relationships are often characterised by blame, excuses and an unwillingness to take responsibility. Technology has also changed relationship dynamics. While instant messaging, social media and dating apps have made communication easier, they have also increased opportunities for comparison, insecurity and the pursuit of constant validation, creating new pressures for many couples. True Love Despite growing cynicism about modern relationships, true love still exists. It may seem rare because it requires qualities that are not always easy to practise, including patience, maturity, honesty, consistency and emotional responsibility. True love is not found in perfect people. Rather, it is created by two imperfect individuals who consistently choose respect over control, honesty over deception, and understanding over ego. Healthy Love Healthy love brings more peace than confusion. It does not mean there will never be disagreements. Instead, both partners work through them without humiliating or harming each other. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel respected rather than controlled and heard rather than dismissed. Trust is built through consistent actions rather than promises alone, creating a sense of security and reliability. Healthy relationships also allow individuals to express themselves freely without fear of judgement while encouraging both partners to grow as individuals even as they strengthen their relationship together. Love itself has never become toxic. Fear, insecurity, dishonesty, and emotional immaturity make relationships toxic. True love is not measured by how intensely someone says, "I love you." It is measured by how consistently they show respect, care, honesty, and responsibility. At its best, love is not about possessing another person. It is about creating a space where two people feel safe, appreciated, and free to become the best versions of themselves. When respect disappears, love begins to fade. But when respect, trust and kindness remain, love has the chance to endure. In the end, love is measured not by grand declarations but by everyday acts of honesty, care and commitment. (The writer is an educator based in Thane. Views personal.)

Knives out in legislature

Updated: Mar 21, 2025

Disha Salian

Mumbai: Death of celebrity manager Disha Salian in 2020 once again rocked the Maharashtra legislature on Thursday. While cabinet ministers Nitesh Rane and Shambhuraj Desai demanded that Shiv Sena (UBT) leader Aditya Thackeray be arrested in the case, BJP MLA Amit Satam in the assembly and another BJP member Chitra Wagh in the council demanded that the report of SIT to probe Salian’s death be made public.


Incidentally, amidst repeated disruptions in both the houses, some members from the treasury benches were seen speaking in favour of Aditya Thackeray, while Shiv Sena (UBT) members like Adv Anil Parab were seen supporting the BJP members’ demand that the report of the SIT probe be made public. In addition, there were allegations and counter allegations and personal accusations among members from the treasury and opposition benches which led to heated debate on occasions.


The opposition termed the attempts from the treasury benches to link Shiv Sena (UBT) leader Aditya Thackeray’s name in the case, as a ‘conspiracy’.


“I think this matter has gone to the court. We have no idea what he (Disha’s father) has said, but Aaditya Thackeray is a mature leader, a young leader. The Bharatiya Janata Party is conspiring to defame him by putting pressure on him. We don’t need to answer to this conspiracy. The court will answer,” Ambadas Danve said.


Earlier in the day, when the house gathered for the business, Minister of State for Home appraised the assembly of the status in this case. “SIT has been formed to probe in the case. Their report has not been received as yet. However, the government shall act according to directives from the court,” the minister told the house.


Another BJP minister Nitesh Rane, however, said that since Satish Salian has levelled allegations against an MVA minister, that leader be treated like a common person and that everybody should be treated equally before the law. Shiv Sena minister Shambhuraj Desai too supported the demand. “Since the allegations are grave, the person in question should be immediately arrested and the case be investigated,” he said.


Later, while speaking to media in the legislature premises, Rane asked Uddhav Thackeray to come clean on the issue. “If they say that we are politicizing the issue, Uddhav Thackeray should also tell the people why he had called, not just once but twice, to the then union minister Narayan Rane urging him to save his son?” Rane said.


He also accused the opposition of shying away from coming clean on the issue. “If they feel that we are not telling the truth, they should say so in the house. But they are shying away from doing so. Bhaskar Jadhav, who is always aggressive, was nowhere to be seen when this issue came up in the house. Sunil Prabhu too escaped the house under the pretext of a phone call. I challenge them to say that whatever I said on the issue is wrong,” Rane said.


He also said that Aditya Thackeray should resign on moral grounds till his name is cleared in the case.


BJP MLA Amit Satam demanded that the details of the SIT probe be made public so that the people would know if the probe is headed in right direction.


Interestingly, while the ruling parties were targeting the opposition in the case, senior BJP leader Sudhir Mungantiwar surprised all with his unexpected support to Thackerays. “I do not have any evidences in the case. But if her father has made any fresh allegations that needs to be investigated thoroughly. The assembly can discuss the issue at length tomorrow. In the meanwhile, members like Rane, who seem to have some evidences in the case should hand them over to the investigating agencies and help the probe,” he told the house.


Shiv Sena’s Sanjay Gaikwad and Sheetal Mhatre too toed the line and demanded that more and more evidences should come forth.


Similarly, when members of treasury benches were pushing for revealing the details of the probe till date to the public, Shiv Sena (UBT) member Anil Parab supported the demand. “Doing that shall conclusively prove the innocence of Aditya Thackeray,” he said.

Comments

bottom of page