Arrogance or Nervousness?

Society too often assumes the role of unsolicited judge over children’s behaviour, disregarding the long-term consequences of its scrutiny.

Recently, a child from Ahmedabad entered India’s one of the most popular shows, Kaun Banega Crorepati, with a lot of dreams. The fact that the 11-year-old boy would be taking questions from veteran actor Amitabh Bachchan on the most watched show in India must have left the parents on cloud nine. The boy who is a fifth grader has not even learnt the art of nurturing dreams. He would have been bombarded with a pool of non-stop instructions explaining him the dos and don’ts while on the show by his family, just like any typical Indian parents would do before a child heads for an exam or one of the biggest events of their life. Most children are not even aware of the seriousness and the depth of the occasion they are preparing to experience. At the age of 11, children often live their parents’ dream, and parents always work hard to leave no stone unturned to make their children achieve what they feel was never their cup of tea.

The debate over why a child behaved in a certain way on national television in front of an extremely popular and senior actor is a tricky one. However, society is the quickest to take the form of an unsolicited judge and make the life of the child and family extremely difficult. Little did the child know that life may become a hell after resuming school, after featuring in that one episode. This reminds me of the cold play incident when two a mere concert proved to be a nightmare for two colleagues to an extent that their careers and futures were devastated.

While social media, or society as a whole has raised questions over the child’s behaviour and the parents’ upbringing, it’s important to note how the host of the show has handled the child’s behaviour maturely with no aggressive counter reaction leaving a lot to learn from his behaviour while on the show.

How children behave is more of what they see and experience than what they actually are. More importantly, an 11-year-old spends most of his day away from his home, mostly in his school, tuition, which his peers. Family outings, functions and screen time take up 20 percent of their time which over all leaves very little exposure to parents. Hence, blaming the parents for how a child behaves on national television is an extremely poor choice.

According to a Mumbai-based child psychologist, there is something called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Many children suffer from this condition which is undiagnosed or diagnosed. Answering questions before hearing the options, not being able to hear the rules, and no patience are symptoms of ADHD, as per this stream of opinion.

Having said that, now arises a larger issue of psychology being often underrated. For long, society has been ignoring or not counting psychological diseases as diseases. A person who approaches a psychiatrist or takes counselling sessions has since long been labelled as mad. Society has not been broad minded to take psychological illness seriously. Every school has a child psychologist attached who is expected to help children overcome a lot of psychological conditions. Not many parents are aware of this. A lack of mental health awareness can lead to a variety of negative effects, including a reluctance to seek professional help due to stigma, reduced self-esteem, difficulties for individuals in social and professional environments, and a lack of understanding from family and friends. This can result in delayed diagnosis and treatment, poorer mental health outcomes, and significant distress for individuals and their families.

Parenting is a tough job, especially in an era where children are exposed to digital media at a very young age, children are growing faster than they are expected to.

Adolescence is arriving earlier than in previous generations, leaving many parents struggling to adapt to shifting behavioural expectations. Children increasingly shoulder the weight of emotional complexity before they are ready. While the young ideally should be allowed to develop at their own pace, many are instead propelled into accelerated maturity, forced to perform in situations for which they are ill-prepared.

Competitions are meant to motivate children to work hard, however, through reality shows, children are often pushed into spaces where they feel they have to overdo their act to prove themselves and end up taking wrong lessons for the purpose of a healthy competition.