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By:

Rahul Kulkarni

30 March 2025 at 3:32:54 pm

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is...

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is allowed… but not really. This is boundary collapse… when a leader’s good intentions unintentionally blur the limits that protect autonomy and rest. When care quietly turns into control Founders rarely intend to micromanage.   What looks like control from the outside often starts as care from the inside. “Let me help before something breaks.” “Let me stay involved so we don’t lose time.” “Loop me in… I don’t want you stressed.” Supportive tone.   Good intentions.   But one invisible truth defines workplace psychology: When power says “optional,” it never feels optional.
So when a client requested a revision, Rohit gently pinged:   “If you’re free, could you take a look?” Of course she logged in.   Of course she handled it.   And by Monday, the cultural shift was complete: Leave = location change, not a boundary.   A founder’s instinct had quietly become a system. Pattern 1: The Generous Micromanager Modern micromanagement rarely looks aggressive. It looks thoughtful :   “Let me refine this so you’re not stuck.” “I’ll review it quickly.”   “Share drafts so we stay aligned.”   Leaders believe they’re being helpful. Teams hear:   “You don’t fully trust me.” “I should check with you before finishing anything.”   “My decisions aren’t final.” Gentle micromanagement shrinks ownership faster than harsh micromanagement ever did because people can’t challenge kindness. Pattern 2: Cultural conditioning around availability In many Indian workplaces, “time off” has an unspoken footnote: Be reachable. Just in case. No one says it directly.   No one pushes back openly.   The expectation survives through habit: Leave… but monitor messages. Rest… but don’t disconnect. Recover… but stay alert. Contrast this with a global team we worked with: A designer wrote,   “I’ll be off Friday, but available if needed.” Her manager replied:   “If you’re working on your off-day, we mismanaged the workload… not the boundary.”   One conversation.   Two cultural philosophies.   Two completely different emotional outcomes.   Pattern 3: The override reflex Every founder has a version of this reflex.   Whenever Rohit sensed risk, real or imagined, he stepped in: Rewriting copy.   Adjusting a design.   Rescoping a task.   Reframing an email. Always fast.   Always polite.   Always “just helping.” But each override delivered one message:   “Your autonomy is conditional.” You own decisions…   until the founder feels uneasy.   You take initiative…   until instinct replaces delegation.   No confrontation.   No drama.   Just quiet erosion of confidence.   The family-business amplification Boundary collapse becomes extreme in family-managed companies.   We worked with one firm where four family members… founder, spouse, father, cousin… all had informal authority. Everyone cared.   Everyone meant well.   But for employees, decision-making became a maze: Strategy approved by the founder.   Aesthetics by the spouse.   Finance by the father. Tone by the cousin.   They didn’t need leadership.   They needed clarity.   Good intentions without boundaries create internal anarchy. The global contrast A European product team offered a striking counterexample.   There, the founder rarely intervened mid-stream… not because of distance, but because of design:   “If you own the decision, you own the consequences.” Decision rights were clear.   Escalation paths were explicit.   Authority didn’t shift with mood or urgency. No late-night edits.   No surprise rewrites.   No “quick checks.”   No emotional overrides. As one designer put it:   “If my boss wants to intervene, he has to call a decision review. That friction protects my autonomy.” The result:   Faster execution, higher ownership and zero emotional whiplash. Boundaries weren’t personal.   They were structural .   That difference changes everything. Why boundary collapse is so costly Its damage is not dramatic.   It’s cumulative.   People stop resting → you get presence, not energy.   People stop taking initiative → decisions freeze.   People stop trusting empowerment → autonomy becomes theatre.   People start anticipating the boss → performance becomes emotional labour.   People burn out silently → not from work, but from vigilance.   Boundary collapse doesn’t create chaos.   It creates hyper-alertness, the heaviest tax on any team. The real paradox Leaders think they’re being supportive. Teams experience supervision.   Leaders assume boundaries are obvious. Teams see boundaries as fluid. Leaders think autonomy is granted. Teams act as though autonomy can be revoked at any moment. This is the Boundary Collapse → a misunderstanding born not from intent, but from the invisible weight of power. Micromanagement today rarely looks like anger.   More often,   it looks like kindness without limits. (Rahul Kulkarni is Co-founder at PPS Consulting. He patterns the human mechanics of scaling where workplace behavior quietly shapes business outcomes. Views personal.)

Durgavati: The Queen Who Stood Against the Mughal Tide

Updated: Oct 22, 2024

Durgavati

India has long been a land of valiant kings and queens who defended their realm against invaders for over a millennium. From the British Empire to the Mughals, India faced numerous challenges, yet the resolute responses from various kingdoms significantly curtailed the advance of foreign aggressors. Throughout this illustrious history, countless sons and daughters of Bharat Mata emerged as inspiring figures, some sacrificing their lives in the ultimate act of patriotism. The janjati (tribal) kingdoms and their warriors have consistently been at the forefront of this struggle. The contributions of figures such as Bhagwan Birsa Munda, Raghoji Bhangare, Tantya Bheel and Siddh-Kanho from the janjati community are well-acknowledged. However, the remarkable contributions of janjati women in this resistance often go unrecognized, overshadowed by their male counterparts, largely due to the biases of historical narratives. Alongside Rani Durgavati, women like Rani Fulkavar, the Phulo-Jhano sisters, Jhalkaari Bai, and Rani Gaidenliu have played pivotal roles in India’s freedom struggle.

On October 5, 1524, the birth of a princess in the Kalinjar fortress of the Mahoba kingdom brought joy to the realm. Named Durgavati by her father, the Rajput king Kirti Singh, she grew up witnessing his governance. Trained in military tactics and imbued with the instincts of leadership, Durgavati married Dalpat Shah, the eldest son of King Sangram Shah of the Garha-Mandla (Gondwana) kingdom, at the age of 20. In 1545, the couple celebrated the birth of their son, Vir Narayan.

However, this happiness was short-lived. King Dalpat Shah passed away in 1550, leaving young Vir Narayan, only five years old, under the guardianship of Queen Durgavati. Understanding the looming threat of Mughal invasion, she took decisive action to fortify her kingdom. Durgavati not only expanded her army but also forged alliances with neighbouring states to bolster her defenses. Her focus extended beyond military might; she actively promoted the welfare of her people, constructing numerous lakes to combat recurring water shortages for both irrigation and domestic use. She believed that a kingdom’s prosperity was intrinsically linked to the happiness of its populace. During times of drought, she cancelled taxes and aided her subjects. Many of the lakes she established still exist today, a testament to her foresight and commitment. Fondly referred to as ‘Mother’ by her people, Durgavati’s legacy of benevolence is chronicled by historian Abul Fazal.

Yet, the spectre of invasion loomed large, as foreign forces sought to dismantle Hindu states and their beliefs. Envious of Gondwana’s prosperity, Akbar sent an ultimatum to Rani Durgavati, demanding her surrender along with her chief minister, Aadhar Singh, and her prized white elephant. Unwilling to capitulate, she prepared for war. The Mughal forces, initially thwarted in two assaults, returned for a third, this time armed with artillery.

On June 24, 1564, Rani Durgavati sustained serious injuries from arrows shot by Asaf Khan, a commander in Akbar’s army. Witnessing their queen fight valiantly against overwhelming odds, the morale of her soldiers began to wane as they saw her bleed. In a moment of despair, Durgavati commanded her trusted minister to end her life, stunning her warriors. Knowing capture would lead to enslavement, she took dagger and ended her life, sacrificing herself to protect her beloved Gondwana just three months shy of her 40th birthday.

This year marks the 500th anniversary of Rani Durgavati’s birth, commemorating the life of this extraordinary daughter of Bharat and ruler of the Garha-Mandala Gondwana kingdom. Her commitment to the welfare of her subjects and the defense of her homeland is an enduring legacy. In a contemporary landscape marked by foreign-funded disruptions, her spirit exhorts us to defend our motherland. Today, this battle consists of countering the divisive narratives propagated by external forces. While our armed forces stand ready to guard our borders, it is incumbent upon us to be vigilant guardians of Bharat Mata within our communities. The unity of Bharat’s people will be crucial in confronting these ongoing challenges.

Let us collectively pay tribute to Rani Durgavati and all the courageous janjati freedom fighters who valiantly defended the rich heritage and culture of our motherland.

(The writer is an official of Vanvasi Kalyan Ashram. Views personal.)

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