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By:

Asha Tripathi

14 April 2025 at 1:35:28 pm

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a...

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a choice to treat another person with dignity, kindness, and honesty. True love is built on mutual respect, trust and emotional security. It involves respecting each other's feelings, boundaries and individuality, caring for one another through both joyful and difficult times, and building trust through consistent actions rather than empty promises. It is marked by honest communication instead of manipulation or mind games; accepting each other's imperfections while encouraging personal growth; and creating a relationship in which both partners feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgement or rejection. Love is not about controlling someone. It is about helping each other feel valued and secure. Toxic Love Relationships become toxic when fear, insecurity, selfishness or a desire for control replace mutual respect and care. One common cause is unresolved emotional wounds. People who have experienced betrayal, neglect or unhealthy relationships may carry those experiences into new relationships, making them suspicious, controlling or emotionally distant. Unrealistic expectations can also create problems. Films and social media often portray love as a constant state of excitement, whereas real relationships involve routine, disagreements, responsibilities and compromise. When expectations do not match reality, disappointment often follows. Poor communication is another major factor. Instead of discussing problems openly, some people avoid difficult conversations, withdraw emotionally, criticise or manipulate their partners, allowing misunderstandings to deepen. Experts also point to the role of ego. When individuals become more concerned with proving themselves right than understanding their partner's perspective, conflicts become harder to resolve and empathy gives way to confrontation. Fear of abandonment can fuel unhealthy behaviour. Anxiety about losing a partner may manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, constant monitoring or emotional dependence, behaviours that often place further strain on the relationship. A lack of accountability can also damage relationships. Healthy partners acknowledge their mistakes and work to improve, while toxic relationships are often characterised by blame, excuses and an unwillingness to take responsibility. Technology has also changed relationship dynamics. While instant messaging, social media and dating apps have made communication easier, they have also increased opportunities for comparison, insecurity and the pursuit of constant validation, creating new pressures for many couples. True Love Despite growing cynicism about modern relationships, true love still exists. It may seem rare because it requires qualities that are not always easy to practise, including patience, maturity, honesty, consistency and emotional responsibility. True love is not found in perfect people. Rather, it is created by two imperfect individuals who consistently choose respect over control, honesty over deception, and understanding over ego. Healthy Love Healthy love brings more peace than confusion. It does not mean there will never be disagreements. Instead, both partners work through them without humiliating or harming each other. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel respected rather than controlled and heard rather than dismissed. Trust is built through consistent actions rather than promises alone, creating a sense of security and reliability. Healthy relationships also allow individuals to express themselves freely without fear of judgement while encouraging both partners to grow as individuals even as they strengthen their relationship together. Love itself has never become toxic. Fear, insecurity, dishonesty, and emotional immaturity make relationships toxic. True love is not measured by how intensely someone says, "I love you." It is measured by how consistently they show respect, care, honesty, and responsibility. At its best, love is not about possessing another person. It is about creating a space where two people feel safe, appreciated, and free to become the best versions of themselves. When respect disappears, love begins to fade. But when respect, trust and kindness remain, love has the chance to endure. In the end, love is measured not by grand declarations but by everyday acts of honesty, care and commitment. (The writer is an educator based in Thane. Views personal.)

Indian Shipbuilding A Must Win Marathon

Shipbuilding

With a coastline of 7500 KM, it is hard to imagine, that for the first 20 years (1947-1967) India had no ‘shipping ministry’. In 1967 a Shipping ministry “coupled” with ROAD transport was established. Since then, this ministry has been on a name changing ride, not once, not twice but six times. In 2009 the “ROAD Transport and Highways” was de-coupled and ‘Shipping’ ministry was formed. Turning point came in 2015 with a clear maritime vision for 2030 and 2047. Ministry was re-christened, aptly to Ministry of “Ports, Shipping and Waterways” in 2020.


Why is Shipbuilding important for a country?

a. A Shipyard becomes an opportunity hub and like a queen bee requires the support of an industrial colony to manufacture machinery and equipment.

b. National Shipyards support fleet renewal needs of the Navy.

c. Contributes to national GDP, increases inflow of FOREX.


Korea shipbuilding is 8% of GDP. Japan’s automobile industry is 2.9% of GDP. India’s shipbuilding a meagre 0.000578% of GDP. In context, India’s pharmaceutical industry, ranked third largest in the world is 1.72% of India’s GDP.


International Shipbuilding Market

The market is estimated to reach around USD 200 billion by 2029, growing at a CAGR of 4.84%. While India is at bottom with 0.07% of world share, behind Philippines 1.5% and Vietnam 1%, however on the positive side, India has done well in taking care of its defence needs, with 37 of 39 Naval ships being built in India yards. Rear Admiral S Shrikhande researching on maritime as a Fellow at Wollongong University, Australia, says “Shipbuilding in India needs both, serious incentivisation and dogged determination and not harping on being a big ship breaking country. That Garden Reach shipyard has a $54 million order for merchant ships from a German owner, is a good sign.”


Were Shipyards of 20th century in Flight mode?

Prominent shipyards in India were built in the colonial period. Mazagon Dock 1774, Garden reach 1884, Hindustan shipyard 1941 to cater to British navy and merchant fleet needs. Cochin shipyard 1972, Adani Katupalli 2013, Reliance Naval and Engineering, Rajula Gujarat 1997 and others have limited capacity, hence a lot more work to do. Capt. Subhangshu Dutt (Singapore) a mariner and now a shipowner, says “GOI should hold hands in any collaboration till the marriage with the foreign entity is reasonably stable. He also suggests that “new shipbuilding sites should be given to existing successful shipyards since they have decades of experience and talent. Consortium of 3 or more parties may also be good idea”.


Shipbuilding GOLD

As per SPLASH report the demand for LCO2 carriers could reach 2,500 ships by 2050. As per other estimates, 40% of global fleet of ships could have wind propulsion by 2050. A surge in such vessels is due to an unparallel waves of decarbonization in the shipping industry. Demand for ships with ‘carbon neutral’ badges, such as Dual fuel, Wind assisted, Nuclear fuel ships, Hydrogen powered ships, Liquified CO2 (LCO2) carrier, is outstripping supply. A must in the ‘bucket list’ of every Shipyard. Pinning down a standard ROI in shipbuilding is not easy, but experts suggest it could range from 4% to 15% for the high demand ‘carbon neutral’ ships. While an LNG new build vessel could cost US$ 250 million upwards.


International collaboration

On China’s shipbuilding success story, Manoj Pandalanghat (Singapore) a mariner and ship owner believes that “China has around 50 active Shipyards. Each have a few large dry docks. In each dock two or more large vessels are built simultaneously. Thus, a single yard is able to roll out 2/3 vessels/month, 36 vessels/year and 50 shipyards roll out 1800 vessels/year”.


China could be a jaldi-5, but India needs a sturdy Mount Fiji. Besides technology, Japanese bring the most important hand baggage of soft-skills and culture, essential for success from keel laying to delivery. Maruti’s is a standing example.


Food for thought for New Delhi

a. Expertise: Hire Naval Architects and shipbuilding experts with current international experience.

b. Government assistance: Land, Financial support, subsidies and timebound clearances.

c. Monitoring: PMO should monitor the first 5 to 10 years till Shipbuilding takes-off on this long-haul flight to destination 2047.


India’s Shipbuilding is expected to grow to $237 billion by year 2047. On a back of the envelope calculations this works out to about 4% of India’s 2047 projected GDP of $ 5 trillion. While cars are driven on roads, however the Ministry of roads and transport has little to do with “Automobile manufacturing”. On a similar note, ‘Shipbuilding’ as an industry has little to do with Ports, Shipping and Waterways, thus it may be worthwhile to consider a separate ‘Ship-building’ wing in the Ministry of Ports, Shipping and Waterways headed by a dynamic cabinet rank minister. Since 2047 targets are stiff and an uphill task, so in all probabilities, the officials in Ministry of Ports, Shipping and Waterways are likely to push beneath the carpet, delays and failures of Shipbuilding with sweet success stories of “Ports, Shipping and Waterways” and if this does happen then India will not only miss the Shipbuilding bus of 21st century but a lot more from a national security and strategic perspective.


(The author is a Shipping and Marine consultant. Member Singapore Shipping Association and empaneled with IMO as a specialist consultant. Views personal.)

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