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By:

Rahul Kulkarni

30 March 2025 at 3:32:54 pm

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is...

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is allowed… but not really. This is boundary collapse… when a leader’s good intentions unintentionally blur the limits that protect autonomy and rest. When care quietly turns into control Founders rarely intend to micromanage.   What looks like control from the outside often starts as care from the inside. “Let me help before something breaks.” “Let me stay involved so we don’t lose time.” “Loop me in… I don’t want you stressed.” Supportive tone.   Good intentions.   But one invisible truth defines workplace psychology: When power says “optional,” it never feels optional.
So when a client requested a revision, Rohit gently pinged:   “If you’re free, could you take a look?” Of course she logged in.   Of course she handled it.   And by Monday, the cultural shift was complete: Leave = location change, not a boundary.   A founder’s instinct had quietly become a system. Pattern 1: The Generous Micromanager Modern micromanagement rarely looks aggressive. It looks thoughtful :   “Let me refine this so you’re not stuck.” “I’ll review it quickly.”   “Share drafts so we stay aligned.”   Leaders believe they’re being helpful. Teams hear:   “You don’t fully trust me.” “I should check with you before finishing anything.”   “My decisions aren’t final.” Gentle micromanagement shrinks ownership faster than harsh micromanagement ever did because people can’t challenge kindness. Pattern 2: Cultural conditioning around availability In many Indian workplaces, “time off” has an unspoken footnote: Be reachable. Just in case. No one says it directly.   No one pushes back openly.   The expectation survives through habit: Leave… but monitor messages. Rest… but don’t disconnect. Recover… but stay alert. Contrast this with a global team we worked with: A designer wrote,   “I’ll be off Friday, but available if needed.” Her manager replied:   “If you’re working on your off-day, we mismanaged the workload… not the boundary.”   One conversation.   Two cultural philosophies.   Two completely different emotional outcomes.   Pattern 3: The override reflex Every founder has a version of this reflex.   Whenever Rohit sensed risk, real or imagined, he stepped in: Rewriting copy.   Adjusting a design.   Rescoping a task.   Reframing an email. Always fast.   Always polite.   Always “just helping.” But each override delivered one message:   “Your autonomy is conditional.” You own decisions…   until the founder feels uneasy.   You take initiative…   until instinct replaces delegation.   No confrontation.   No drama.   Just quiet erosion of confidence.   The family-business amplification Boundary collapse becomes extreme in family-managed companies.   We worked with one firm where four family members… founder, spouse, father, cousin… all had informal authority. Everyone cared.   Everyone meant well.   But for employees, decision-making became a maze: Strategy approved by the founder.   Aesthetics by the spouse.   Finance by the father. Tone by the cousin.   They didn’t need leadership.   They needed clarity.   Good intentions without boundaries create internal anarchy. The global contrast A European product team offered a striking counterexample.   There, the founder rarely intervened mid-stream… not because of distance, but because of design:   “If you own the decision, you own the consequences.” Decision rights were clear.   Escalation paths were explicit.   Authority didn’t shift with mood or urgency. No late-night edits.   No surprise rewrites.   No “quick checks.”   No emotional overrides. As one designer put it:   “If my boss wants to intervene, he has to call a decision review. That friction protects my autonomy.” The result:   Faster execution, higher ownership and zero emotional whiplash. Boundaries weren’t personal.   They were structural .   That difference changes everything. Why boundary collapse is so costly Its damage is not dramatic.   It’s cumulative.   People stop resting → you get presence, not energy.   People stop taking initiative → decisions freeze.   People stop trusting empowerment → autonomy becomes theatre.   People start anticipating the boss → performance becomes emotional labour.   People burn out silently → not from work, but from vigilance.   Boundary collapse doesn’t create chaos.   It creates hyper-alertness, the heaviest tax on any team. The real paradox Leaders think they’re being supportive. Teams experience supervision.   Leaders assume boundaries are obvious. Teams see boundaries as fluid. Leaders think autonomy is granted. Teams act as though autonomy can be revoked at any moment. This is the Boundary Collapse → a misunderstanding born not from intent, but from the invisible weight of power. Micromanagement today rarely looks like anger.   More often,   it looks like kindness without limits. (Rahul Kulkarni is Co-founder at PPS Consulting. He patterns the human mechanics of scaling where workplace behavior quietly shapes business outcomes. Views personal.)

Pakistan’s Perpetual Puppeteer

Every leader in Islamabad eventually learns the lesson that the benefactor is always stronger than the beneficiary.

Islamabad

On November 27, Islamabad witnessed another chapter in Pakistan’s enduring political drama. Protestors from Imran Khan’s Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI), led by his third wife Bushra Bibi, were decisively swept from D-Chowk in the capital’s Red Zone by security forces. The confrontation, ostensibly between Khan and the all-powerful military, ended with the latter reaffirming its supremacy. For now, this particular clash has concluded. But Pakistan’s cyclical history suggests it will not be the last, with the military remaining a constant power broker and civilians trading roles as adversaries.


This latest episode highlights a peculiar dynamic, akin to a twisted version of Stockholm syndrome, where benefactors repeatedly find themselves betrayed by their protégés. Imran Khan, once anointed by the army as its preferred candidate, is only the latest in a long line of civilian leaders who have fallen out of favour with their military patrons. His trajectory mirrors that of Nawaz Sharif, whose own career offers a study in how Pakistan’s generals create and dismantle political puppets at will.


Khan’s rise to power in 2018 was widely seen as a military-engineered project. Labelled a ‘selected’ rather than an elected leader, his ascent was marred by allegations of electoral manipulation orchestrated by the army to sideline Sharif and his Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N). Once in office, however, Khan’s push for greater civilian control over the military—demanding oversight of the Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI)—put him on a collision course with his benefactors. By 2023, his fallout with the generals culminated in his removal from office, his incarceration on corruption charges, and an unprecedented wave of anti-military protests by his supporters, including attacks on army installations.


But the story is hardly novel. Nawaz Sharif’s political career follows an eerily similar trajectory. Handpicked by General Zia-ul-Haq in 1985 as Punjab’s chief minister, Sharif was groomed to counter the Sindh-based Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP). His ascent to the premiership in 1990 marked the zenith of his military-backed career. Yet, like Khan, he soon strained relations with his benefactors, particularly Generals Aslam Beg and Asif Nawaz Janjua. His dismissal in 1993 set a pattern of oscillation between army patronage and antagonism.


Sharif’s return to power in 1997, buoyed by military support, was followed by his greatest triumph—the nuclear tests of 1998—and his greatest fall. His dismissal by General Pervez Musharraf in 1999 sent him into exile. In 2013, he once again rode to power with tacit military backing, only to be ousted in 2017 via the Panama Papers case. His party’s recent 2024 victory, in coalition with the PPP, represents a new chapter in the army’s long history of political engineering.


The military’s role as Pakistan’s true power centre has endured for decades, with political leaders merely temporary players in its larger game. Khan’s PTI was initially established in 1997 as an anti-establishment party but struggled to gain traction, winning a mere 1.61 percent of the vote in its first election. By aligning with General Musharraf in 2002, Khan secured a foothold in the National Assembly. However, his boycott of the 2008 elections, followed by a strong showing in 2013, positioned him as a credible opposition figure.


His 2018 victory marked a turning point. With 31.92 percent of the vote, Khan became the military’s chosen instrument to oust Sharif. Yet, like his predecessors, Khan’s demands for autonomy ultimately led to his downfall. His subsequent attempts to mobilize public support have failed to unsettle the military establishment.


The army’s influence over civilian politics is not merely a legacy of Pakistan’s early years but an ongoing strategy to maintain its primacy. Each time a civilian leader challenges its authority, the military intervenes—either through direct action or by manipulating the judiciary and electoral processes. The pattern is as predictable as it is relentless: benefactors build, beneficiaries betray, and the cycle begins anew.


Pakistan’s experiment with democracy has been consistently undermined by its overbearing military. Civilian leaders, regardless of their initial allegiance to the generals, eventually seek to consolidate power—a move the military views as a direct threat. This dynamic not only stymies democratic development but also ensures that the army remains the arbiter of Pakistan’s political destiny.


Khan’s failure to sustain his protest in 2024 underlines the military’s unassailable position. His rhetoric of civilian supremacy may resonate with parts of the population, but the institutional power of the army remains unchallenged. Nawaz Sharif’s return, facilitated by the military’s blessing, further illustrates this paradox: democracy in Pakistan is only tolerated when it aligns with military interests.


For India, this enduring dynamic offers both challenges and warnings. The military’s centrality to Pakistan’s governance is inextricably tied to its hostility towards India—a raison d’être that justifies its dominance. Any attempt by civilian leaders to normalize relations with New Delhi is perceived as an existential threat to the army’s power.


As Pakistan navigates yet another cycle of political upheaval, the army’s grip remains firm. For all its talk of democratic ideals, the country’s politics remain beholden to an institution that thrives on instability and confrontation. Imran Khan may have fallen, but the forces that propped him up and tore him down are unchanged.


(The author is a motivational speaker. Views personal)

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