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By:

Rahul Kulkarni

30 March 2025 at 3:32:54 pm

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is...

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is allowed… but not really. This is boundary collapse… when a leader’s good intentions unintentionally blur the limits that protect autonomy and rest. When care quietly turns into control Founders rarely intend to micromanage.   What looks like control from the outside often starts as care from the inside. “Let me help before something breaks.” “Let me stay involved so we don’t lose time.” “Loop me in… I don’t want you stressed.” Supportive tone.   Good intentions.   But one invisible truth defines workplace psychology: When power says “optional,” it never feels optional.
So when a client requested a revision, Rohit gently pinged:   “If you’re free, could you take a look?” Of course she logged in.   Of course she handled it.   And by Monday, the cultural shift was complete: Leave = location change, not a boundary.   A founder’s instinct had quietly become a system. Pattern 1: The Generous Micromanager Modern micromanagement rarely looks aggressive. It looks thoughtful :   “Let me refine this so you’re not stuck.” “I’ll review it quickly.”   “Share drafts so we stay aligned.”   Leaders believe they’re being helpful. Teams hear:   “You don’t fully trust me.” “I should check with you before finishing anything.”   “My decisions aren’t final.” Gentle micromanagement shrinks ownership faster than harsh micromanagement ever did because people can’t challenge kindness. Pattern 2: Cultural conditioning around availability In many Indian workplaces, “time off” has an unspoken footnote: Be reachable. Just in case. No one says it directly.   No one pushes back openly.   The expectation survives through habit: Leave… but monitor messages. Rest… but don’t disconnect. Recover… but stay alert. Contrast this with a global team we worked with: A designer wrote,   “I’ll be off Friday, but available if needed.” Her manager replied:   “If you’re working on your off-day, we mismanaged the workload… not the boundary.”   One conversation.   Two cultural philosophies.   Two completely different emotional outcomes.   Pattern 3: The override reflex Every founder has a version of this reflex.   Whenever Rohit sensed risk, real or imagined, he stepped in: Rewriting copy.   Adjusting a design.   Rescoping a task.   Reframing an email. Always fast.   Always polite.   Always “just helping.” But each override delivered one message:   “Your autonomy is conditional.” You own decisions…   until the founder feels uneasy.   You take initiative…   until instinct replaces delegation.   No confrontation.   No drama.   Just quiet erosion of confidence.   The family-business amplification Boundary collapse becomes extreme in family-managed companies.   We worked with one firm where four family members… founder, spouse, father, cousin… all had informal authority. Everyone cared.   Everyone meant well.   But for employees, decision-making became a maze: Strategy approved by the founder.   Aesthetics by the spouse.   Finance by the father. Tone by the cousin.   They didn’t need leadership.   They needed clarity.   Good intentions without boundaries create internal anarchy. The global contrast A European product team offered a striking counterexample.   There, the founder rarely intervened mid-stream… not because of distance, but because of design:   “If you own the decision, you own the consequences.” Decision rights were clear.   Escalation paths were explicit.   Authority didn’t shift with mood or urgency. No late-night edits.   No surprise rewrites.   No “quick checks.”   No emotional overrides. As one designer put it:   “If my boss wants to intervene, he has to call a decision review. That friction protects my autonomy.” The result:   Faster execution, higher ownership and zero emotional whiplash. Boundaries weren’t personal.   They were structural .   That difference changes everything. Why boundary collapse is so costly Its damage is not dramatic.   It’s cumulative.   People stop resting → you get presence, not energy.   People stop taking initiative → decisions freeze.   People stop trusting empowerment → autonomy becomes theatre.   People start anticipating the boss → performance becomes emotional labour.   People burn out silently → not from work, but from vigilance.   Boundary collapse doesn’t create chaos.   It creates hyper-alertness, the heaviest tax on any team. The real paradox Leaders think they’re being supportive. Teams experience supervision.   Leaders assume boundaries are obvious. Teams see boundaries as fluid. Leaders think autonomy is granted. Teams act as though autonomy can be revoked at any moment. This is the Boundary Collapse → a misunderstanding born not from intent, but from the invisible weight of power. Micromanagement today rarely looks like anger.   More often,   it looks like kindness without limits. (Rahul Kulkarni is Co-founder at PPS Consulting. He patterns the human mechanics of scaling where workplace behavior quietly shapes business outcomes. Views personal.)

Villages take steps for uplift of widows

AI generated image
AI generated image

Mumbai: A tide of social change has gradually risen in Maharashtra's rural belt, with more than 7,000 villages declaring that they have abolished customs and rituals which distress widows and discriminate against them.


Of the 27,000 gram panchayats in Maharashtra, 7,683 villages have held gram sabhas and announced they have gotten rid of customs that discriminated against widows, activist Pramod Zinjade, who has been spearheading the campaign to eradicate evil customs related to widows, told PTI.


The campaign gained momentum after Herwad in Kolhapur district became the first village in the country to ban customs associated with widowhood in 2022 to maintain women's right to live with dignity.


The village passed a resolution on May 4, 2022, banning the removal of 'mangalsutra' (sacred necklace worn by married women) and toe rings of a widow, wiping her sindoor (vermillion) and breaking her bangles.


Over the years, several rural pockets have taken a leaf out of Herwad's book by including widows in Sarvajanik Ganpati pujas, haldi-kumkum events and flag-hoisting ceremonies.


Taking cognisance of the challenges faced by widows in the country, the National Human Rights Commission issued an advisory last year and asked the states and the Union Territories to improve the quality of life of these women and protect their dignity.


Talking to PTI, Herwad's former sarpanch Surgonda Patil said the custom of breaking bangles and removing mangalsutra and toe rings has almost stopped.


'Earlier, we would visit homes where deaths occurred to check if these customs were followed. But now, people are more aware," he said.


He further said a few widows in the village have remarried, and they are included in social and religious gatherings.


Herwad resident Vaishali Patil, who lost her husband 12 years ago, said, "Widows are being treated with dignity and respect. People have realised we are humans. The mindset, however, has to change, and age-old customs cannot be stopped overnight."


She said convincing the elders in families to let go of certain rituals is hard and is still a work in progress.


Pranjal Wagh, former sarpanch of Kadoli village in Nagpur district, said she started the practice of inviting widows for haldi-kumkum programmes much before the Herwad gram sabha's resolution.


"When I was the sarpanch from 2017-22, widows didn't go out and socialise. I would invite all women for haldi-kumkum events and offer gifts to widows, despite objections," she said.


The Kadoli gram sabha also passed a resolution to ban evil customs related to widows, but it is not followed strictly, Wagh said, adding that she invites 1,000 women for haldi-kumkum every year.


Anil Shirsat, sarpanch of Musalgaon in Nashik district, said his village was 90 per cent literate and doesn't follow evil practices against widows.


"We don't have the custom of removing mangalsutra, wiping sindoor and other rituals. For the last three years, we have been using 15 per cent of funds the gram panchayat receives to help five needy widows every year," he said.


He said a resolution to empower widows will be passed in the next gram sabha.


"We will ask self-help groups to include widows and ensure their economic empowerment," he said.


Sanjay Pawar, a member of the Dhondvir Nagar village panchayat in Nashik district, said their gram sabha had resolved to ensure widows live with dignity.


"We ensure they get pensions and homes under different government schemes. The gram panchayat takes care to resolve their problems," he said.


Social activist Lalit Babar, who works in the Kolhapur, Sangli and Solapur districts, said 76 gram panchayats in Sangola took an oath not to follow the age-old discriminatory customs related to widows.


"We have roped in block development officers and integrated child development services (ICDS) workers. When we get information about a man's death, we visit the home to check if his wife has been forced to perform any of the rituals," Babar said.

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