Beyond Marks: Guiding Children with Support and Empathy

Marks do not define a child's worth. Build trust, listen with empathy, and help them rise with confidence and clarity.

The X Board results are out, ending the anxiety for both parents and children. Often, parents worry more about the future, while children feel pressured to meet expectations. Parents must offer support, empathy, and understanding, rather than focusing solely on marks and percentages.

In a career span of 17 long years as an educator, my observation and inference suggest a few guidelines for parents and children once the results are out.

For Parents

Stay composed and supportive: Parents need to be highly supportive, remain calm, and not subject the child to pressure in choosing a stream or to pursue something to which the child is not inclined.

Refrain from comparison: Do not compare your child with others or use harsh, judgemental comments that would break their morale and self-belief, which would make them feel like a loser. Instead, appreciate their efforts and performance and help them feel like winners, thereby building up confidence to win innumerable battles of life ahead.

Be positive: Avoid being critical. Offer positive feedback and guide them to focus on excellence and learning rather than just grades. Obsessing over marks can hinder the learning process and harm a child's mental well-being. Instead, reinforce positivity and celebrate the academic milestone they’ve achieved.

Open communication: Engage in open communication, speaking of their strengths, and convey the message that no matter what, your parents stand by them. This will boost their self-esteem, grow, and make them feel trusted, loved, and connected.

Build strong bonds: Parents should often engage in discussions with children regarding their academics, difficulties they face, stress or pressure, if any, and any insecurity they experience physically, emotionally, or psychologically. Make them feel very comfortable opening up with you. This builds a strong bond and makes an effort to blossom with each passing day.

Remember, a percentage is not a true measure of ability or intelligence. Every child is unique, with varying capacities. Some excel academically, while others are creatively gifted, depending on their interests. Judging them solely by marks is unfair.

Academic performance alone does not define personality—it must include qualities like confidence, humility, compassion, and competence. Being a good human being matters just as much as academic success.

Parents must go beyond providing material comforts and focus on shaping their child's life in all aspects. A holistic approach is key to helping an innocent child grow into a well-rounded adult.

Important Guidelines for Children

Once the results are out, take time to process them. Reflect on areas for improvement and plan your next steps.

Avoid comparison: Do not compare your performance with anyone's and focus on your goal, aspirations, and growth. Focus on communication skills, self-awareness, and accountability. This attitude and approach enable you to have a positive mindset and to be a strong individual.

Discus: Have an open and honest discussion with parents and mentors who will guide and help you sail toward growth orientation. Do not rush to decisions. Do not dwell on the past, either good or bad. Move ahead confidently, positively determined.

Practice relaxation: Limit your exposure to gadgets. Watch programmes or read books that have a positive impact, which induces a positive mindset. Exercising, deep breathing, mindfulness, engaging in hobbies, and seeking out new knowledge and skills elevate the mood and sleep pattern, thereby charging brain cells.

Seek help: If you are struggling with pressure or stress and are unable to cope with the process, reach out to your parents immediately for support, which they will surely extend.

Your success is your parents’ dream, selflessly cherished. Honour them with kind gestures of respect, love, and care—you owe them this warmth throughout life. Prove yourself not just academically, but as the son or daughter they raised with love and sacrifice. Never forget their efforts; make them feel valued and present in your life. As you climb the ladder of success, they’ll be your loudest cheerleaders, always praying for your happiness and well-being.

Together, parents and children can embrace and create an atmosphere full of support and positivity. Thus, navigating the process is eased, and the house will be filled with joy and exuberance.

Parents, kindly give wings to your children, and children, remember that when you fly high, it's just not your victory alone. It's the triumph of you and your parents both.

Wishing you good luck in all your future endeavours. Stay blessed always.

(The author is a tutor based in Thane.)