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By:

Ruddhi Phadke

22 September 2024 at 10:17:54 am

‘Stop judging and labelling children’

Experts believe that its often a poor choice to judge a child or the parents for any public display of arrogance. Parenting is a matter of study today. At no point parents feel confident the upbringing path they have chosen is a right way. Some depend on child psychologists, some on elders while some think its gambling. A class 5 student from Gujarat, has sparked a massive debate with his conduct on the latest episode of Kaun Banega Crorepati. The child appeared on the 17th season of the...

‘Stop judging and labelling children’

Experts believe that its often a poor choice to judge a child or the parents for any public display of arrogance. Parenting is a matter of study today. At no point parents feel confident the upbringing path they have chosen is a right way. Some depend on child psychologists, some on elders while some think its gambling. A class 5 student from Gujarat, has sparked a massive debate with his conduct on the latest episode of Kaun Banega Crorepati. The child appeared on the 17th season of the long-running quiz show which is hosted by Amitabh Bachchan, where his conduct on the hot seat led to backlash on social media. Needless to say, the parents were in spotlight with all doubting their parenting skills. In an interview with ‘The Perfect Voice’ , Dr. Sachi Pandya , a psychologist at NH SRCC Children’s Hospital, shared her observations on why Structure at home matters in the upbringing of children and how avoiding the Pitfalls of overindulgence affects parenting. The KBC episode has gone viral with all voices questioning the upbringing of the child who displayed a behavior that came as a shock to even the host. Who is at fault? Is he innocent? Is it time to introspect about a larger concern around upbringing? The fault is social media and access to the content that is floating across the internet. Children feel pressurised to be 'cool', 'macho' and try to act adult like without really knowing its implications. It is not their fault. Their brain is still developing and they are absorbing a lot from the environment which is the societal responsibility and the culture we are knowingly unknowingly forging towards. More than the youngster, it was his parents who became the target of backlash for ‘improper upbringing’. What does your study say? Parents do play a vital role when it comes to disciplining and upbringing but blaming the child's behaviour on the parents and judging the parents is a poor choice and shows lack of empathy. Children sometimes behave in different ways and display volatile emotions and wear masks to hide their nervousness, anxiety or shyness. It is not under parents' control. Understanding that children are still learning, removing the lens of judgment and rather giving grace is what this time calls for. The parents also in that moment would be feeling helpless or nervous and just use smiling or laughing or overlooking the child's behaviour, it doesn't mean they are not conscious but rather trying to deal with the situation. We say that do not take the child's behaviour personally, but I also say refrain from judging the parents and rather look at supporting the parents within the community to nurture a better society. It is everyone's responsibility. A child doesn't grow at home, it goes to school, it lives in a society, it interacts with people in different spaces, also watches a lot of content, what about sharing the responsibility of nurturing the young minds rather than shifting blame. Some believe that the behaviour may have stemmed out of nervousness and that the child was unnecessarily being targeted. Can you share your thoughts? I agree. Children are still learning about emotions and how to regulate their emotions. Most of the time they hide nervousness with coming across as arrogant and cold. Children should be spared of harsh judgments and labels. It is one of the most insensitive things a society can do. I am thinking of the messages floating on social media and how much this is hyped and what impact it is going to have on the child and his parents on a long term. It is nothing less than a nightmare! What do you think is the root cause of rising arrogance and lack of humility among most kids? It is a disconnection often times the child experience among peers, within family, within the society, there is isolation too, judgment and harshness they are met with, the pressure to learn and be perfect, keeping adult like expectations from kids, poor the fast paced life, lack of quality time and play, less social interactions, overuse of screen and social media, gaming and internet. Also, there needs to be an increased focus on social emotional learning and helping children thrive emotionally and socially. How do you think parents should tackle arrogance of their children? Arrogance is a behaviour. Any behaviour stems from an emotion brewing underneath. Parents rather than correcting the child, getting disappointed in the child or judging the child should first look at the root of this behaviour. Are they angry, annoyed or feeling guilt. Explore their emotions, the dynamics they engage in in different environments outside home, know their emotional needs and co-regulate. Connection before correction always works when it comes to teaching and strengthening right behaviours. Meeting the arrogance with a stern look or a cold word will only shut the child down, keep them emotionally volatile and alone in their struggle and encourage more such behaviour. Now that Ishit Bhat has become popular for all the wrong reasons, it must have been a difficult phase for the parents and the child; the entire family to deal with the situation. The child may likely face backlash among peers or any other such situation may arise due to this. How should a child and a family handle such situations without suffering a mental setback? Flood them with empathy, nurture a culture of allowing mistakes. Every child deserves to make mistakes and learn as they grow to become their best selves. Nobody is perfect, especially not the ones who are the first to judge. Media reports have highlighted a ‘six-pocket-syndrome’ which is claimed to be a major factor. Can you explain how? Children thrive when there is consistency between their home and school environments. While schools often provide structure, routine, and clear expectations, some homes lack the same level of guidance. When children return to unstructured or unsupervised settings, confusion can arise, leading to boredom, poor self-control, or even aggression. Early boundary-setting—starting as young as age one or two—is crucial. Children need to be gently but firmly taught what is and isn’t acceptable, such as not hitting or pushing. Just as important is parental modeling. When adults handle conflict calmly and communicate respectfully, children learn to do the same. Daily conversations, shared chores, and emotionally supportive routines help children develop empathy, discipline, and resilience. However, a growing concern in today’s families is the "Six Pocket Syndrome"—a term referring to the overindulgence of children by six adults: two parents and four grandparents. While love and attention are essential, when paired with a lack of discipline, this can foster entitlement, low frustration tolerance, and emotional immaturity. What advice would you give to the parents today? Studies show that children raised with both warmth and structure—what psychologists call "authoritative parenting"—develop stronger self-regulation, confidence, and social skills. Besides, children today often bear the burden of early emotional complexity and pressure to perform way before they are physically and mentally to do so. Rather than placing blame, we must ask: Are we giving children the space to be children? Are we letting them grow slowly, explore their inner worlds, and feel safe in their bodies, free from pressure to perform or impress? Parents and caregivers must strike a healthy balance: providing love and support while also setting clear limits. With consistency and care, children can grow into respectful, resilient, and emotionally intelligent individuals.

Bollywood’s Classical Echo: The Invisible Hand of Raaga in Hindi Film Music

Updated: Feb 12

Far from a relic of the past, classical music remains Bollywood’s invisible maestro with even the catchiest Bollywood tunes steeped in centuries-old musical traditions.

Hindi Film Music
The Music Makers – Naushad, SD Burman, Jaikishan and Madan Mohan

Bollywood music is often painted in stark contrasts, either it is classical or it is not. This binary straitjacket is misleading. The truth is, Indian classical music permeates the sonic landscape of Bollywood, shaping its melodies, moods and emotional depth in ways both overt and subtle. Even the most commercially driven compositions owe their soul to the age-old system of raagas, the backbone of Indian classical music.


To understand Bollywood music’s classical underpinnings, it is necessary to first grasp the essence of Indian classical music. Whether in its Hindustani (North Indian) or Carnatic (South Indian) tradition, classical music is built on a fixed set of notes, or swaras. These notes, arranged in specific patterns, give rise to ragas - melodic frameworks that evoke distinct emotions and are associated with specific times of the day. Some ragas, like Bhoopali, are pentatonic, containing only five swaras (sa, re, ga, pa, dha), while others, like Durga, include a different set of five notes. More complex ragas use all seven notes, but their progression and treatment make them unique entities. The mood or ‘rasa’ of a raga is integral to its identity; each is designed to evoke specific emotions, whether it be devotion, melancholy, or romance.


Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of Indian classical music is its temporal discipline. Each raga is associated with a specific time of day, a rule traditionally adhered to by classical musicians. Each raaga is bound by an almost cosmic order - what musicians refer to as prakriti or rasa, the intrinsic nature and emotional essence of a melodic framework. One does not simply sing a raaga at whim. The time of day alters its resonance, its ability to evoke sentiment.


Consider Raag Ahir Bhairav, one of the oldest known raagas, traditionally sung at the moment when night yields to dawn - pratahkaal, that liminal hour when darkness dissolves and the first traces of light filter through. The mood it evokes is one of solemnity, a meditative gravity that feels at odds with the celebratory abandon of a wedding reception or an evening gathering. The raaga is meant to embody a transition, a quiet reckoning with the day’s beginning. To sing Ahir Bhairav at an inappropriate time is to strip it of its intended weight, to turn its gravitas into something unnatural, even dissonant.


This understanding is not lost on Bollywood’s more astute composers. Take, for instance, Ahir Bhairav in cinema. The mournful strains of ‘Jago Mohan Pyare’ or ‘Mohe Bhool Gaye Sawariya’ lean into its weighty, introspective nature, reinforcing themes of longing and reflection. More intriguingly, Ismail Darbar’s use of Ahir Bhairav in ‘Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam’ departs from the expected. The composition ‘Albela Sajan Aayo Re’ is a century-old bandish, lifted directly from classical tradition to underscore the protagonist’s vocal training. Here, the raaga is not merely a background motif but an active participant in the film’s narrative.


Another raga that Bollywood frequently draws from is Bhimpalasi, known for its blend of seriousness, romance, and devotion. Sung in the afternoon, Bhimpalasi’s characteristic komal (flat) notes lend it a wistful, yearning quality. It is the backbone of songs like ‘Radha Kaise Na Jale’ (Lagaan), ‘Kismat Se ‘Tum Humko Mile Ho’ (Pukar), and ‘Eli Re Eli’ (Yaadein). The raga’s spiritual resonance is also evident in Pandit Jasraj’s ‘Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudeva’ and Mehdi Hassan’s ‘Zindagi Mein Toh Sabhi Pyaar Kiya Karte Hain.’


Yet, Bollywood is known for its playful transgressions. The hit song ‘Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast’ (from Mohra, 1994) is often cited as an example of Raag Bhimpalasi in a mass-market setting. However, some musicologists argue that the composition leans more towards Raag Dhani, an ‘unidentical twin’ of Bhimpalasi. This blurred line between ragas and their cinematic interpretation exemplifies how Bollywood modifies classical frameworks to suit popular tastes.


This evolution of Bollywood music has not been without challenges. With the rise of digitized production and Western influences, the presence of Indian classical music has, in some cases, receded. For purists, Bollywood’s dilution of classical music may seem like sacrilege. But one could argue that adaptation and accessibility are precisely what have kept Indian classical traditions alive in popular consciousness. Unlike the West, where classical music has largely remained an elite pursuit, India’s cinematic culture has ensured that millions, knowingly or unknowingly, are exposed to its foundational raagas.


Even when a song does not strictly adhere to raaga conventions, the foundational principles of classical music often guide its composition. Legendary music directors like Naushad, S.D. Burman and Madan Mohan were steeped in classical traditions and infused their work with intricate raaga-based structures.


Contemporary composers often rely on loops and software-generated sounds rather than intricate classical progressions. Today’s composers like A.R. Rahman, Amit Trivedi and Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy seamlessly weave classical elements into their compositions, proving that ragas are not relics but living, breathing entities capable of evolving with time.


Despite Bollywood’s increasing global influences, classical music remains its anchor. Whether in the grandeur of orchestral scores or the intimacy of a lone sitar, the echoes of India’s ancient musical heritage persist, shaping the soundscape of its most popular medium. The next time a groovy Bollywood melody tugs at your heartstrings, listen closely, for you might hear a raaga at play.

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