Ending Dowry, Empowering Women

Despite laws and awareness, dowry persists through loopholes, silence, and social pressure—a modern evil masquerading as tradition.

Marriage is a sacred bond built on love, respect, care, and support. Traditionally, gifts of cash or gold were blessings from the family to the couple. Over time, this custom has grown into a financial burden, particularly for the bride’s family, often driven by social status and expectations.

Today, dowry is often viewed as a business transaction. Escalating demands can lead to mental or physical abuse or even threats of divorce. This deep-rooted social evil continues to haunt society, damaging countless lives while largely going unchecked.

Despite strict laws by the Indian government making dowry a punishable offence and widespread awareness of its harmful effects, the practice continues. Why hasn't it faded?

Tradition: Many justify dowry in the name of tradition. Weddings are seen as sacred occasions, and families often hesitate to break from long-standing customs—even when they impose a heavy burden on the bride’s family.

Status Symbol: For many, dowry has become a matter of status—the bigger the car or the cash, the higher the perceived prestige of both families. Even when beyond their means, families host lavish weddings and shower the groom’s side with expensive gifts. Greed and the relentless pursuit of social standing have fuelled this trend, turning it into a competition.

Despite knowing it leads to crippling debt, the practice continues—and has tragically contributed to rising crimes against women, including suicides and murders of brides.

Lack of Strict Enforcement: Although dowry is legally punishable, poor implementation and enforcement allow it to persist. Loopholes—such as unregulated gift exchanges—indirectly enable the practice to continue unchecked.

Gender Inequality and Lack of Education: A key driver of this harmful system is the unequal treatment of boys and girls, with sons often viewed as superior. Limited education further deepens these biases, allowing regressive attitudes to thrive.

Financial Burden: Parents raise their daughters with love, hoping to see them happily settled. Yet, from the moment a girl is born, many families begin saving for her wedding, often taking out large loans or borrowing from relatives to meet dowry demands.

Compromised Standard of Living: The cost of meeting such expectations can drain a family's resources, forcing them to lower their standard of living and spend years repaying debts.

Emotional Stress: The groom’s family may compare gifts, passing sarcastic or hurtful remarks that leave the bride and her parents emotionally drained, humiliated, and depressed.

Physical Abuse: What begins as taunts or emotional cruelty can escalate into physical violence, especially when fresh demands go unmet. Disturbingly, many women facing such abuse feel driven to end their lives, unable to cope with the relentless pressure and trauma.

Solutions to eradicate the dowry system

Education: Promoting education that fosters critical thinking and rationality is essential to challenge and dismantle the belief systems that sustain harmful practices like dowry.

Empowering Women: Instead of saving for a lavish wedding or a “settled” groom, it is far wiser to invest in a girl’s education, enabling her to become independent and self-reliant. Women should be encouraged to continue working after marriage and childbirth, focusing on personal growth and productivity to resist societal pressure.

Awareness programmes should equip women with knowledge of their legal rights and how to safeguard themselves against abuse. Most importantly, girls must be empowered to make informed choices—selecting partners who respect them, make no financial demands, and value them as equals.

Gender Equality: True change begins with equality. From an early age, both boys and girls must be taught that neither gender is superior or inferior. Challenging gender stereotypes is vital to ending regressive traditions like the dowry system.

Along with the government, society should join hands to eradicate this evil system. The existing law should be made more stringent, thereby tightening the noose around perpetrators.

My husband and I chose a simple Arya Samaj wedding with just 12–15 close family members, followed by a modest lunch. I feel blessed to have a partner who made no demands—we seek only our families’ blessings, not gifts.

We teach our teenage daughter to make the right choice—to be welcomed as a gift into her new life, with pride, not fear.

(The writer is an educator based in Thane.)