Let Childhood Be Childhood

Childhood has become preparation, not experience.

I belong to an era where childhood wasn’t scheduled, measured, or evaluated. We played with mud, drew shapes on the ground, jumped over hopscotch lines till dusk, and came home with scraped knees and hearts full of joy. Life itself felt like a reward — simple, abundant, and stress-free. We lived on cloud nine without knowing the term.

Our homes were porous. Relatives dropped in without appointments, and we visited them without announcements. Neighbours weren’t strangers; they were extended family. Kith and kin were real, present, and dependable. There was attachment, emotional security, and a deep sense of belonging. We grew up knowing that even if something went wrong, there was always someone to fall back on.

Childhood then was not perfect — but it was protected.

A Startling Contrast

Today, as a tutor, I sit across from children as young as 10, 12, 13, and 14, and I hear words that were never part of our childhood vocabulary: anxiety, stress, ADHD, attention disorder, palpitations, and high blood pressure. These are no longer rare—they’re becoming disturbingly common.

As an educator and the mother of a 16-year-old, I often pause and ask: What has changed so drastically? What is stealing the childhood that children are meant to enjoy? Is it books, academic pressure, the constant push for excellence, or the entire ecosystem around the child?

The honest answer is uncomfortable but clear: it’s a combination of everything.

Changed Environment

Today’s children are growing up in an ultramodern, ultrafast, and ultracompetitive world. Life moves faster than their emotional capacity. Information is limitless, comparisons are relentless, and expectations begin early and rarely pause.

Childhood has become preparation, not experience.Children are constantly evaluated—academically, socially, and emotionally—and expected to perform, excel, multitask, and adapt, often without being taught how to handle failure, pressure, or uncertainty.

Unlike earlier generations, many no longer grow up in a naturally supportive system. Families are nuclear, neighbours distant, relatives busy, conversations replaced by screens, and emotional availability reduced—even when physical presence exists.

Losing Capacity

A difficult but necessary question arises: Have children lost the capacity to handle challenges?Not because they are weak, but because they aren’t being allowed to grow strong naturally. Earlier, resilience was built through free play, unstructured time, boredom, social conflicts, minor failures, and independent decisions.

Today, many children are constantly supervised, corrected, and controlled. Their lives are planned in advance, mistakes pre-empted, and discomfort quickly fixed. In trying to protect them, we may be unintentionally disarming them.

Today’s challenges are endless. They won’t reduce—they’ll only evolve. So the goal isn’t to shield children from them but to prepare them to face them. How? Not through pressure, constant correction, fear, or comparison—but through trust, support, and emotional safety.

Role of Parents

Be supportive. Give your children wings—but not freedom without direction. Give them guided freedom.Don’t nitpick every action, control every decision, or turn every moment into a lesson. Offer guidance and values, but allow space.

Let children make decisions, make mistakes, face consequences, and learn. A child allowed to fall learns balance. A child who is trusted learns responsibility.

When you trust your child, you’re not just trusting them—you’re trusting yourself, your values, and your guidance. If you constantly doubt your child, aren’t you also questioning your own parenting?

With the right support, love, and value system, a child may be influenced by peers, but they won’t lose their moral compass. Your upbringing becomes their inner voice. Trust anchors them—and helps them find their way back.

When a child feels anxious, it isn’t disobedience, weakness, or failure. It’s a signal—a need for reassurance, acceptance, understanding, and unconditional love. In that moment, the child needs more support, not more pressure.

Listen more. Correct less. Be present without judgement.

Children are not projects, performance reports, or reflections of social status. They are human beings in their most formative years. Let them laugh loudly, play freely, fail safely, and grow slowly. Give them roots of trust and wings of freedom.

Raising a child today isn’t easy—but raising an anxious child is harder. As parents, tutors, and carers, our greatest responsibility is not to produce high achievers but emotionally secure individuals who can face life with confidence and calm.

Give wings to your child. Let them fly. Be their safe landing.

Because a child who feels trusted, supported, and loved will always find their way — even in the most challenging world.

(The writer is a tutor based in Thane. Views personal.)