Setting Boundaries

We name our daughters Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati; we worship the divine feminine power in the temples but oppress, repress and even attack the feminine power amidst us. That is the irony in the way India sees its women.

After the safety of the daylight fades, women are seen as easy prey by the predators of the night.

We mark the nine nights of Navratri, the festival of the goddess, by celebrating the dedication and valour of nine real-life women who brave the challenges of the night to pursue their dreams.

PART - 6

Setting Boundaries

The public relations professional advises women to be aware of their surroundings while staying out late despite Mumbai being a relatively safe city

She’s seen men stare her down on the streets of Mumbai but the crowds on the roads have always made her feel safe and confident even late at night. Chandana Buch, 35, a public relations professional working with The Other Circle is quick to draw a comparison between Mumbai and Delhi where she’s worked earlier. “Compared to Mumbai, Delhi is much more unsafe. With Delhi, I have had to face drunk driving almost every day during late evening commutes. It was way too scary and what was worse is that I couldn’t even abandon the taxi I was commuting in. Who wants to be left on streets in Delhi after dark? So, it was a tricky situation that nobody would want to be in,” says Buch who grew up in Gujarat’s Saurashtra in a large joint family. She recalls an incident in Delhi when a co-passenger in a taxi pool struck up a conversation with her and continued to “text stalk” her. “In Delhi, I clung on to my brother most of the times and only went out with my old and known friends. Eventually, I left the city after around 11 months,” she says.

Buch, who has been working for a decade now has lived in Mumbai and Delhi and for a brief period of time in Dallas, USA. While handling clients that have been businesses in the field of entertainment, lifestyle and real estate, late nights are usual for her. 

Despite the relative safety that Mumbai offers, it’s not that she’s been untouched by the actions of miscreants. She recalls being “intimidated by men staring” at her several times while travelling back home post midnight in Mumbai. “However, staying confident was easier because the streets were busy and crowded,” she says. The Shakti mills rape case where a woman photographer was raped in the middle of a dilapidated and isolated mill compound worried several working women back then. “When the Shakti mill incident that happened with a female photographer, it became a point of discussion for all of us women who worked in similar fields. It surely kept me much more alert and in caution for a long time about my timings and surroundings. Fortunately, I have never landed in a risky situation in Mumbai,” says Buch.

Buch is happy that her firm takes care to ensure the safety of its women employees and colleagues too have been caring and supportive. “The Group Head insists on knowing the details of our travel and ensures our safe return. I have had some wonderful colleagues in the past. We would make sure to drop each other safely and track rides until the last one gets home,” she says.

Making the cities safer, says Buch, is a process that has to start at home. “It has to start by sensitizing young boys and girls about respecting each other. Boys must be taught how to show respect and how to make the surroundings friendly and not intimidating for anyone,” she says. The best way to stay safe is to avoid prolonged work hours unless absolutely necessary. “Also set boundaries whenever and wherever required. Be aware of your surroundings when traveling for work or with new people,” is advice that Buch has for women who have to stay out of home beyond midnight.