The Power of Her

‘The Perfect Voice’ celebrates strong, trailblazers in this series with stories of women who brave battles every day that serve as an inspiration to the next generation. We have daughters fulfilling their parent’s dreams, victims of domestic abuse rebuilding their lives and professionals dealing with the famous ‘mom guilt’.

Part - 4

Once Timid, Now Brave

Anjali Shah, Mumbai

‘Anjali and Vallari’s happy home’ is the name plate outside Anjali Shah’s artistically decorated home in Santacruz west, which she shares with her daughter. The cheerful vibe in the house belies the violence the space has witnessed in the past where Anjali suffered violence and trauma. Anjali, 62, raised her only daughter Vallari under traumatic conditions in that very house. The process made her so strong that she is not only a successful fashion designer but also runs an NGO called Advitya. Anjali has been actively involved in the social development sector for over 40 years now, with a focus on Vocational Training for the intellectually challenged.

Her journey has not been a cake walk. Her smiling face hides a series of traumatizing memories of a troubled marriage. Born into a middle-class family, Anjali fell in love with a man who she later married but whose parents didn’t approve of her. “I was exposed to the typical hurdles which every unwanted daughter-in-law would go through. We both were earning, but I had no power at all. I was timid then, but my journey has transformed me,” she says.

After two years of marriage, Anjali delivered a daughter. “Imagine. An unwanted daughter being born to an unwanted daughter-in-law. My sister-in-law would often play with my daughter with her foot-thumb on her cheek. She would not touch her using her hands,” says Anjali, recounting the ill treatment meted out to her and her baby girl.

Anjali broke her silence to oppose her in-laws’ behaviour for the first time when they tried to impose Jainism on her daughter. She said wanted her daughter to adopt a routine consciously at an appropriate age.

While Anjali was navigating with the stereotypical hazards of unacceptance in a wealthy but conservative Jain family, she discovered that her husband was drinking excessively and had affairs with multiple women. Hoping for better days, she endured it all. After a while, when it became unbearable, Anjali attempted suicide. At this point, she was packed off to her parents’ home. “My in-laws quietly dropped me to my mom’s place, and told them that I was a bit sick and I needed rest. My daughter was sent to a friend’s place, since she was appearing for her exam. She was nine years old when that incident took place,” says Anjali.

Still unwilling to give up on her marriage, Anjali moved into a separate house with her husband but things got even worse. Her husband would come home drunk, accompanied by his friends, one of whom misbehaved with her. Yet, she wanted to save the marriage. “He would scream, shout and abuse. My relatives advised me to be patient. I was patient for 10 more years. It had got so bad that Vallari and I used to hug each other tight in fear when we would hear him open the door with his door key in the middle of the night. I would ask Vallari to sleep in the living room; however, she would not leave me alone with my husband in the bedroom fearing my fate. She was helpless, yet my biggest strength. Vallari had seen him sexually abusing me and was getting traumatised. I realised it wasn’t safe to keep her in the house anymore,” recalls Anjali.

The day her husband tried to hit Vallari was when Anjali called the police but retreated in fear when she realised that her “rich” in-laws would threaten her of dire consequences. “A series of abuses continued, and cops kept coming on my call when things went beyond control.”

Finally, Anjali decided to file for divorce but realised that her husband had left the house quietly and taken away all the important files, and had frozen all the bank accounts. “It takes time for a woman to stop trusting her own husband. Our accounts were joint. I didn’t realise he would stoop so low. I was suddenly financially handicapped. However, I came across many good people who helped me preserve my trust in humanity,” she says.

Strangers came forward to help—a tailor working at her boutique offered financial help; her lawyer agreed to fight the divorce case for a minimal fee. “My in-laws accused me and my daughter of running a prostitution racket in my house,” she says. It was only when her uncle reached out to the then home minister that the police started taking her grievances seriously and the divorce was granted.

But all’s well that ends well. Anjali runs her business now and Vallari lives in Zurich with her husband.