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By:

Asha Tripathi

14 April 2025 at 1:35:28 pm

Stop Comparing, Start Growing

Success does not grow in comparison; it grows in focus. Over the years, women have made significant strides in every sphere of life. From managing homes to leading organisations, from nurturing families to building successful careers, women have proved that strength and resilience are deeply rooted in their nature. Financial independence has become a significant milestone for many women today, bringing with it confidence, dignity, and the freedom to shape one’s own destiny. However, along...

Stop Comparing, Start Growing

Success does not grow in comparison; it grows in focus. Over the years, women have made significant strides in every sphere of life. From managing homes to leading organisations, from nurturing families to building successful careers, women have proved that strength and resilience are deeply rooted in their nature. Financial independence has become a significant milestone for many women today, bringing with it confidence, dignity, and the freedom to shape one’s own destiny. However, along with growth has come another silent challenge — the tendency to constantly observe, compare, and sometimes even compete with the journeys of others. But a crucial question arises: Is it necessary to track the growth of others in order to grow ourselves? From my personal experience of more than two decades as an entrepreneur, I have realised something very powerful — true growth begins the moment we stop looking sideways and start looking within. A Small Beginning I had a flourishing career of teaching abroad, but when I restarted my career after moving back to India, my beginning was extremely small. My very first assignment was a simple home tuition for a single student, and the amount I earned was meagre. There was nothing glamorous about it. No recognition, no large batches, no big earnings. Just one student and one opportunity. But instead of worrying about how others were doing, how many students they had, or how much they were earning, I made a conscious decision—my only focus would be on improving myself. I focused on teaching better, preparing better, and becoming more disciplined and consistent. And slowly, without even realising it, things began to grow. One student became two, two became a small group, and gradually, over the years, the work expanded beyond what I had initially imagined. Looking back today, I can confidently say that the growth did not happen because I competed with others. It happened because I competed with myself yesterday. Comparison Creates Noise When we keep watching others' journeys too closely, we unknowingly divert our own energy. Comparison creates unnecessary noise in our minds. It brings doubts, insecurities, and sometimes even negativity. Instead of walking our own path with clarity, we start questioning our speed, our direction, and our worth. True success grows through focus, not comparison. Every woman has her own story, her own pace, and her own struggles that others may never see. The path of one person can never be identical to another's. So comparing journeys is like comparing two different rivers flowing towards the same ocean — each with its own route, its own curves, and its own rhythm. As women, we already carry many responsibilities. We balance emotions, relationships, work, and society's expectations. In such a life, the last thing we need is the burden of comparison with one another. Instead, what we truly need is support for each other. When women encourage women, something extraordinary happens. Confidence grows. Opportunities multiply. Strength becomes collective rather than individual. There is enough space in the world for every woman to create her own identity. Each of us can build our own niche without stepping on someone else's path. Choose Encouragement Envy weakens us, but encouragement empowers us. Rather than questioning how someone else is progressing, we can ask a more meaningful question: "How can I grow a little better than I was yesterday?" Lift As You Rise Today, after twenty years of experience, the most valuable lesson I have learned is simple yet profound — focus on your own work with honesty and dedication, and success will quietly follow you. We, women, are capable, resilient, and creative. We do not need to pull each other down or compete in unhealthy ways. Instead, we can lift each other up while building our own dreams. Because when one woman rises, she does not rise alone. She inspires many others to believe that they can rise, too. And perhaps that is the most beautiful form of success. (The writer is a tutor based in Thane. Views personal.)

The Power of Her

Updated: Mar 10, 2025

‘The Perfect Voice’ celebrates strong, trailblazers in this series with stories of women who brave battles every day that serve as an inspiration to the next generation. We have daughters fulfilling their parent’s dreams, victims of domestic abuse rebuilding their lives and professionals dealing with the famous ‘mom guilt’.


Part - 6

Braving All Odds

Kalpana Patil, Mumbai


Kalpana Patil

Her life was a struggle from the very beginning. Born into a family of limited financial means in Belagavi, Karnataka, Kalpana Patil, 57, couldn’t study beyond Class 10 because her parents couldn’t afford to pay her fees. They wanted to marry her off early, an idea she resisted. Her family, however, couldn’t find a suitable match until she was 20 years old. But as luck would have it, even marriage didn’t offer an end to her financial woes; in fact, it was the beginning of a traumatic journey in an abusive marriage. Patil claims her husband misled her family. “He told us he had a big house in Mumbai. He also told us that he was well settled and was in the position to keep me happy all my life. I came to Mumbai and was shocked to see a house that was confined to a 10/12 square feet room. My in-laws, my brother-in-law, his wife and kids, all of us were supposed to live in that one room,” she says.

There were no means to verify the groom’s background. Her family was riddled with illiteracy and was helplessly poor. Societal pressure meant they accepted the first proposal that came along for their daughter.


Patil and her husband, who worked as a tempo driver, shifted to another house in Dahisar, which was not bigger than the earlier one. She was subjected to “extreme mental torture” for not conceiving a baby for five years after the wedding. “I was relieved when I delivered my first son five years after my marriage. After a few years I was blessed with another son,” she says.


Financial troubles mounted as Patil’s husband spent all his money on alcohol. After marriage, she discovered that her husband had been addicted to alcohol since he was 12 years old. There was no money to feed the children and Patil decided to work in a bid to save some money for her family’s future. She has experimented with several jobs from diamond industry to bangles manufacturing to catering to pest control chemical factories to working as a peon at a school and many more. She recalls “challenging experiences” while she looked for jobs in factories. Finally, Patil got a job in a company located at Dahisar, close to her home, where she’s been working for the past 16 years. “My employer has been an epitome of humanity. I always shared all my issues with him and he has been a patient counsellor and support,” she says.

The financial troubles mounted into a crisis, when her husband took out a loan to buy a tempo but couldn’t bring in enough money to make ends meet. To add to that, abuses and thrashings were part of her daily life. “He would waste food, he would beat me up mercilessly. He used to be most often drunk. Once he even kicked me in my waist when I was asleep. I woke up in shock and pain,” says Patil.


Tired, she attempted suicide several times, experimenting with different methods of ending her life. “Someone advised me, eating baked soil reduces life expectancy and helps you die early. I have been eating that for the past few years. My employer was good. The team offered counselling and I stopped thinking negatively,” she says.


Worried about the “dire consequences” of her decision, Patil never considered divorce and puts up a brave face in her challenging situation. Her older son has completed a BCom degree “I am really proud of him. He used to work during the day, and would attend night college to complete his education. He has worked really hard and now he is settled,” says Patil proudly. Her sons’ education has changed the dynamics in their home. My husband doesn’t abuse me anymore. By now, I have gained courage to give it back to him, and my sons are able,” she says confidently.

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