‘The Perfect Voice’ celebrates strong, trailblazers in this series with stories of women who brave battles every day that serve as an inspiration to the next generation. We have daughters fulfilling their parent’s dreams, victims of domestic abuse rebuilding their lives and professionals dealing with the famous ‘mom guilt’.
Part - 6
Braving All Odds
Kalpana Patil, Mumbai
Her life was a struggle from the very beginning. Born into a family of limited financial means in Belagavi, Karnataka, Kalpana Patil, 57, couldn’t study beyond Class 10 because her parents couldn’t afford to pay her fees. They wanted to marry her off early, an idea she resisted. Her family, however, couldn’t find a suitable match until she was 20 years old. But as luck would have it, even marriage didn’t offer an end to her financial woes; in fact, it was the beginning of a traumatic journey in an abusive marriage. Patil claims her husband misled her family. “He told us he had a big house in Mumbai. He also told us that he was well settled and was in the position to keep me happy all my life. I came to Mumbai and was shocked to see a house that was confined to a 10/12 square feet room. My in-laws, my brother-in-law, his wife and kids, all of us were supposed to live in that one room,” she says.
There were no means to verify the groom’s background. Her family was riddled with illiteracy and was helplessly poor. Societal pressure meant they accepted the first proposal that came along for their daughter.
Patil and her husband, who worked as a tempo driver, shifted to another house in Dahisar, which was not bigger than the earlier one. She was subjected to “extreme mental torture” for not conceiving a baby for five years after the wedding. “I was relieved when I delivered my first son five years after my marriage. After a few years I was blessed with another son,” she says.
Financial troubles mounted as Patil’s husband spent all his money on alcohol. After marriage, she discovered that her husband had been addicted to alcohol since he was 12 years old. There was no money to feed the children and Patil decided to work in a bid to save some money for her family’s future. She has experimented with several jobs from diamond industry to bangles manufacturing to catering to pest control chemical factories to working as a peon at a school and many more. She recalls “challenging experiences” while she looked for jobs in factories. Finally, Patil got a job in a company located at Dahisar, close to her home, where she’s been working for the past 16 years. “My employer has been an epitome of humanity. I always shared all my issues with him and he has been a patient counsellor and support,” she says.
The financial troubles mounted into a crisis, when her husband took out a loan to buy a tempo but couldn’t bring in enough money to make ends meet. To add to that, abuses and thrashings were part of her daily life. “He would waste food, he would beat me up mercilessly. He used to be most often drunk. Once he even kicked me in my waist when I was asleep. I woke up in shock and pain,” says Patil.
Tired, she attempted suicide several times, experimenting with different methods of ending her life. “Someone advised me, eating baked soil reduces life expectancy and helps you die early. I have been eating that for the past few years. My employer was good. The team offered counselling and I stopped thinking negatively,” she says.
Worried about the “dire consequences” of her decision, Patil never considered divorce and puts up a brave face in her challenging situation. Her older son has completed a BCom degree “I am really proud of him. He used to work during the day, and would attend night college to complete his education. He has worked really hard and now he is settled,” says Patil proudly. Her sons’ education has changed the dynamics in their home. My husband doesn’t abuse me anymore. By now, I have gained courage to give it back to him, and my sons are able,” she says confidently.
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