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By:

Rahul Kulkarni

30 March 2025 at 3:32:54 pm

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is...

The Boundary Collapse

When kindness becomes micromanagement It started with a simple leave request.   “Hey, can I take Friday off? Need a personal day,” Meera messaged Rohit. Rohit replied instantly:   “Of course. All good. Just stay reachable if anything urgent comes up.”   He meant it as reassurance. But the team didn’t hear reassurance. They heard a rule.   By noon, two things had shifted inside The Workshop:   Meera felt guilty for even asking. Everyone else quietly updated their mental handbook: Leave is allowed… but not really. This is boundary collapse… when a leader’s good intentions unintentionally blur the limits that protect autonomy and rest. When care quietly turns into control Founders rarely intend to micromanage.   What looks like control from the outside often starts as care from the inside. “Let me help before something breaks.” “Let me stay involved so we don’t lose time.” “Loop me in… I don’t want you stressed.” Supportive tone.   Good intentions.   But one invisible truth defines workplace psychology: When power says “optional,” it never feels optional.
So when a client requested a revision, Rohit gently pinged:   “If you’re free, could you take a look?” Of course she logged in.   Of course she handled it.   And by Monday, the cultural shift was complete: Leave = location change, not a boundary.   A founder’s instinct had quietly become a system. Pattern 1: The Generous Micromanager Modern micromanagement rarely looks aggressive. It looks thoughtful :   “Let me refine this so you’re not stuck.” “I’ll review it quickly.”   “Share drafts so we stay aligned.”   Leaders believe they’re being helpful. Teams hear:   “You don’t fully trust me.” “I should check with you before finishing anything.”   “My decisions aren’t final.” Gentle micromanagement shrinks ownership faster than harsh micromanagement ever did because people can’t challenge kindness. Pattern 2: Cultural conditioning around availability In many Indian workplaces, “time off” has an unspoken footnote: Be reachable. Just in case. No one says it directly.   No one pushes back openly.   The expectation survives through habit: Leave… but monitor messages. Rest… but don’t disconnect. Recover… but stay alert. Contrast this with a global team we worked with: A designer wrote,   “I’ll be off Friday, but available if needed.” Her manager replied:   “If you’re working on your off-day, we mismanaged the workload… not the boundary.”   One conversation.   Two cultural philosophies.   Two completely different emotional outcomes.   Pattern 3: The override reflex Every founder has a version of this reflex.   Whenever Rohit sensed risk, real or imagined, he stepped in: Rewriting copy.   Adjusting a design.   Rescoping a task.   Reframing an email. Always fast.   Always polite.   Always “just helping.” But each override delivered one message:   “Your autonomy is conditional.” You own decisions…   until the founder feels uneasy.   You take initiative…   until instinct replaces delegation.   No confrontation.   No drama.   Just quiet erosion of confidence.   The family-business amplification Boundary collapse becomes extreme in family-managed companies.   We worked with one firm where four family members… founder, spouse, father, cousin… all had informal authority. Everyone cared.   Everyone meant well.   But for employees, decision-making became a maze: Strategy approved by the founder.   Aesthetics by the spouse.   Finance by the father. Tone by the cousin.   They didn’t need leadership.   They needed clarity.   Good intentions without boundaries create internal anarchy. The global contrast A European product team offered a striking counterexample.   There, the founder rarely intervened mid-stream… not because of distance, but because of design:   “If you own the decision, you own the consequences.” Decision rights were clear.   Escalation paths were explicit.   Authority didn’t shift with mood or urgency. No late-night edits.   No surprise rewrites.   No “quick checks.”   No emotional overrides. As one designer put it:   “If my boss wants to intervene, he has to call a decision review. That friction protects my autonomy.” The result:   Faster execution, higher ownership and zero emotional whiplash. Boundaries weren’t personal.   They were structural .   That difference changes everything. Why boundary collapse is so costly Its damage is not dramatic.   It’s cumulative.   People stop resting → you get presence, not energy.   People stop taking initiative → decisions freeze.   People stop trusting empowerment → autonomy becomes theatre.   People start anticipating the boss → performance becomes emotional labour.   People burn out silently → not from work, but from vigilance.   Boundary collapse doesn’t create chaos.   It creates hyper-alertness, the heaviest tax on any team. The real paradox Leaders think they’re being supportive. Teams experience supervision.   Leaders assume boundaries are obvious. Teams see boundaries as fluid. Leaders think autonomy is granted. Teams act as though autonomy can be revoked at any moment. This is the Boundary Collapse → a misunderstanding born not from intent, but from the invisible weight of power. Micromanagement today rarely looks like anger.   More often,   it looks like kindness without limits. (Rahul Kulkarni is Co-founder at PPS Consulting. He patterns the human mechanics of scaling where workplace behavior quietly shapes business outcomes. Views personal.)

A Terror Attack Totally Changed Me

Updated: Oct 22, 2024

Terror Attack

The dreaded terror attack on 9/11 wrecked several lives and changed the world order in several ways, but for some, it was a turning point in their lives as they changed courses and their outlook towards life. For Sujo John, the event saw him trade his corporate job for a career in motivational speaking and philanthropy. As he was rescued from the debris, he realized that he had to work in a field where his true passion lay. Kolkata-bred John had moved to the US from India in February 2001, barely seven months before his life was to change course.

How did 9/11 change your world?

September 11, 2001 was a day that changed America and the world forever. I used to work on the 81st floor of the North Tower and that day started off as a beautiful clear day on the east coast. But at 8:48 am as I stood by my fax machine on the 81st floor I heard this incredible explosion, this was American Flight #11 that had crashed into the building and part of the wing of the plane tore through my floor and it dumped 10,000 gallons of jet fuel. Fire broke out all around me and we started crawling our way to the nearest stairway. It took me more than 90 minutes to get to the concourse level from the 81st floor and then as I was making my way towards the South Tower it began to implode and collapse. I thought I faced a sure death as I was buried in the debris, only to be pulled out by an active FBI agent. This life experience totally changed me, I realized life can be so short and what truly matters is how you can leave the world a better way than how I found it.

The impact of American Flight #11 was not just physical but also deeply emotional, prompting a renewed appreciation for life’s fragility. Media from all over the world took interest in my survival story and I started getting calls to come and speak. I started this unsure of what lay ahead, but as I started speaking and travelling, I started seeing how broken the world was and how for many who are hurting and struggling just mere words of hope was not enough. It was important to do something tangible, to give them a helping hand on their road to healing and hope. Then my love for my country of birth India, leaving India I pledged I will do something for my motherland so when I started my foundation it was only obvious that I wanted to something in India my karma bhumi.


Why did you take to motivational speaking? Have you seen the impact of your courses and talks on people?

Soon I realized that every human has a story. Everyone needs a comeback story, a story of resilience and of triumph over tragedy. Every human breathing has suffered loss, pain, disappointment and felt giving up on life. I think people started connecting with me and my life lessons and what I had to share. Now it’s been 23 years and I have had the privilege to share my story to millions in live audiences around the world.


How many such lectures have you delivered over the years? Where was your first?

I honestly cannot remember, the first 15 years or so each week I would be in at least two cities each week. One event could be in North America and the other in Europe. I look back and I honestly wished I had not travelled that hard, so these days I intentionally travel less but my priority is also being back on Indian soil, which I make at least five times a year.


Can you tell us in brief about your work in Ukraine?

When the war broke out in Ukraine, I was convinced we had to do something. I had been in that country before on speaking engagements, So, two weeks after the war started, I reached the region. We mapped out what we should be doing, the regions and who we could help. We started distributing medicines, generators and food supplies to refugees of the war in Ukraine, Romania and Moldova. We have also bought apartments and cars for the young widows of war. It is sad that in this day and age there are these needless wars. But when there is suffering, we have a collective responsibility to bring hope.


What are the activities of your charitable organisations

At YouCanFreeUs.Org we are focused on the fight against modern slavery, rescuing women and children from human trafficking and rehabilitating them. We also operate Child Development Centers to help children at risk. We have also been involved in war relief operations most recently in Ukraine and Israel.

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